The Importance of Perspective

I’ve been praying about the next topic I wanted to talk about for my latest blog and my inspiration for this one came from both a conversation I had with a friend last week as well some of the readings I’ve been doing lately (in both my bible and other outside books).

Lately, I’ve seen/heard quite a few of my friends mention a lot of the problems they are going through. I’ve also seen the pain on their faces as they wish they could find the answer of why they are going through so many things.

Some people have just posted stuff on Facebook, while others have brought things up directly to me. But I don’t always know what to say at the time (sometimes I’m better at typing out these sort of things than actually speaking them, lol).

I won’t go into any details about the problems people are facing, but they range from constant minor annoyances (that add up to grate on people), all the way to major family drama, serious illness and money issues, just to name a few.

And as a Christian, we’re called to be good neighbors (in this case friends), and help out in any way we can. Also as a guy, I have the tendency that when someone has a problem I want to “fix it.” And I know that may not be what each person is necessarily looking for, but God put something on my heart that I believe I’m supposed to share with all of you and if it applies to you, I hope it helps or gives you encouragement.

I’ve heard from quite a few people that they “can’t catch a break” and that “everything has to be difficult” for them.

Well from my experience, I’ve noticed that bad things really seem to hit a person at one of two times in their lives- when they are on a “high” (when right before, things seem to be going great in their lives, and then bad things start happening to veer them off course from that happiness) or when they are already on a “low” and going through tough circumstances already- Satan likes to kick you when you’re down and keep you from getting back up.

Now, obviously I don’t know everyone’s life stories, so I don’t know 100% which of these may apply to you. But I’ll share some things with you to clarify the point I’m trying to make.

Back in January 2009, I went on a retreat with my church. It was such an amazing time- I had been hungering for God in more powerful ways leading up to that point and I fully felt that I received something that day. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and God was telling me exactly what I needed to do, and even though some of it was going to be difficult, I was excited to begin and get that more fulfilled life that EVERYONE seeks. I was on an emotional and spiritual “high” and I just KNEW great things were coming.

Well, as you may know, I got into a bad car accident on the way home from that retreat (that’s when my Taurus got wrecked). And that just really got to me. I got a little mad at God, and began to question all that I felt he had revealed to me. So I let the distractions of doctor appointments, physical therapy, paperwork, and other stuff going on in my life keep me from what God had called me to begin to do. But I’ve since realized that it was just an attack on me by forces other than God, in order to keep me from fulfilling what I needed to do. It also forced me to go through some things I probably wouldn’t have had to if I just listened to God in the first place. Was it a crappy situation? Yes. Did I wish it never happened? Yes. Was it extremely frustrating? Of course, especially after all the craziness that happened to me all on top of each other in 2007 that most of you are aware of.

But it was only after seeking God and changing both my perspective on the situation and how I was going to handle it, did that answer become clear. God wanted me to do something- Satan obviously didn’t want that. So he threw a curveball at me that unfortunately did deter me for awhile.

So how does this relate to each of you? I don’t know 100% for sure obviously, but something in my gut came to me while praying that said to share that God is reaching out to some of you reading this. The question is: are you willing to accept it?

Now I have NO idea what God may be trying to tell some of you by giving me this word. Only you and He knows that (or maybe you don’t even know and need help finding that out and maybe THAT is the point of this? Who knows, lol)? But I also wanted to talk to you about perspective. Because yes, it does seem that many of you have been having a lot of “bad luck” lately. But it might not always be bad luck (even when it seems it at first).

Take the example that I deal with a lot for instance- let’s say I’m on my way to work or some other event, all of a sudden I hit a ton of traffic (or am simply hitting every red light along the way) that’s going to make me late. The first reaction I’m tempted to have (and what most others in this situation would have) is “oh man! I’m gonna be mad late! This sucks!! Why is this happening to me?” And just get all upset and beat themselves up by thinking over and over ways that they could have avoided the situation (like leaving earlier, taking a different route, etc).

But a way I’ve learned to look at that same situation is “who’s to say God didn’t allow this to happen for a reason? Maybe I hit all this traffic, b/c if I had gotten to a specific point along the way earlier I could have gotten into an accident beyond my control.” (I know that may seem a far out way of thinking of things, b/c it’s easiest to focus on the current situation and how it is negatively affecting your plans/life, but seriously… God works in mysterious ways and we don’t always see it until much later.

In addition to this, is getting impatient, becoming angry, swearing, etc. going to get you out of the traffic jam any sooner? You’re going to be late anyway, and on top of that be in a bad mood that may affect how you feel and respond to others the rest of the day. Is there something that you can do during that time that you often don’t get to do: pray, makes plans or think about things that you may not have time for during your busy hectic day, or call someone (ideally from a hand-free device, lol) that you’ve been meaning to and never get around to. Our perspective and how we view the situations that come up in life may make a huge difference in how we respond to them and how positive or negative they seem. Ariana can tell you it’s a daily challenge and change does not necessarily happen overnight, but she’s noticed that her relationship with God has made a difference in this area.

Another major example from my life of this is back from 2007, which as I mentioned before, was a tough year for me. Everything that happened to my dad - the quick version for those of you that don’t know is he had heart surgery in March of that year and suffered multiple strokes while in surgery and suffered severe brain damage. The first bad part was he had the surgery out of state, so it was a battle to get him transported to NY to be closer to family & friends. Then he hung on for five months before passing, and I had to deal with handling every aspect of his situation- between the hospitals, taking care of his estate, putting him in a nursing home, etc. All while at the same time being in grad school, preparing to purchase and fix up my own home and plan a wedding.

While I was going through everything, I wondered why something so horrible would happen to me, especially at that moment in time, of ALL times? But looking back at it now, I see things in a different light.

As terrible as the situation was, I see why those things had to happen. God had his own plans for my father, and my dad put himself in a risky position with how he lived (he didn’t take good care of himself and had been warned multiple times to change his ways). As for myself, up to that point in my life, I was never really used to having any TRUE sense of responsibility. I was living a life of relative ease, I’ll even admit to a bit of a lazy and self-centered lifestyle. But I was about to embark on the most drastic change in my life- moving out of the home I was raised in for the first time in my life (those summers at Fordham don’t fully count), and getting married and being truly accountable to another person. I thought I could do it, but there was no way for me to really know how I’d adapt. But all these situations that occurred before the wedding forced me to mature into the man I needed to be, both for myself and for Ariana. I had to grow up really quick, and make mature and life-changing decisions, be a leader, keep my composure and handle a lot of life’s tougher challenges all at once. And this not only helped me, but helped give Ariana a sense of confidence in her decision to marry me, b/c as she saw how well I was able to handle everything, she knew she was making the right decision and fell even more in love with me and respected the man I had become (these are her words, I’m not trying to gas myself up, lol. Ask her).

So God not only allowed me to work things through in all of those situations, but he has given me the wisdom to look back on it and realize that although things were very hard for me, it all worked toward a greater good for me. Because if those situations had not happened, my life would have been easier, and as much as I’d like to say I’d still be the person I am today, there is no way for me to know that.

So once again - was the situation terrible? Yes. Do I miss my father, and does it hurt to think about everything that happened? Of course. Will some of these things affect me for the rest of my life? Possibly. But I believe that God had a plan for me, and if he can use such dark times to mold me and make me better then he can turn YOUR tough times into something better as well. You may just need to change your perspective.

Like I said earlier, I know that might sound a bit out there to some of you and a very hypothetical way of looking at things, but is it better to think that way or in the way of “God/the universe must have it out for me!”? That’s a pretty depressing way of living in my opinion.

The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God’s ultimate plan for you isn’t to make you suffer, even when you are going through difficult times. He wants to bless us. We rarely think about the purpose of these things happening to us and just concentrate on the negative aspects. However, there is ALWAYS an end game in place that is meant to be positive for you. But many times that takes work on our part and may possibly require a change in the way we live - maybe that is the message God is sending you? One of the things I learned in school as a Psychology major and counselor is that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. You might not be clinically insane – but if your current approach seems to fit the definition above, then what’s going on and what are you going to do about it?

And I know it can be tough to change your way of thinking b/c while some of you may have had a tough 2010 or 2009- some of you have also had a bad 2008, 2007, 2006, etc. You may not even remember the last time you felt true peace and happiness between the bigger issues and the smaller annoyances that may come your way that take on a bigger effect than they should when everything is snowballed on top of each other. This message is to tell you that God does love you, He/the universe is NOT against you, and it’s all within your grasp, you just need to let go of what you’re holding onto that’s keeping you from reaching it. Some of the things that people hold onto include being on the defensive with a loved one with whom you’ve developed an argumentative communication style, being impatient, grudges, destructive thoughts and/or behaviors, lifestyles, etc.

The bible even states that God will help you with this in Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved [shaken].”

Also, like Alvin Slaughter said in my church this Friday night: “it’s not the blowing of the wind that controls our direction, but the setting of our sails” (by how God tells us).

I hope I’m not coming off sounding like a parent or judgmental by saying all this stuff to all of you reading this. I’m not trying to tell you how to live. It’s a combination of seeing what each of you is going through, and what I believe God was telling me to share when I prayed. I’m good friends with many of you and my heart hurts when I see people I care about going through tough situations. And I’m just trying to be a good friend the best way I know how (which apparently is by writing super-long essays, lol). I hope and pray that the words written here touch your heart or at the very least give you the opportunity to evaluate your lives and perspectives. God Bless, I love you all!

Decision-Making and Priorities

-We all have a set of priorities and we all make decisions.

-The things you choose to do demonstrate what is important to you.

-When you choose one thing over another, you show that it has a higher priority.

Franklin Covey used this illustration to address the issue of priorities (check it out, it may look familiar to a similar story you may have read, but it's got a slightly different ending):

One day an expert was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As this man stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz."

Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed mason jar and sat it on a table in front of them. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into a jar.

When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "is this jar full?" Everyone in the class said "Yes."

Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and hook the car causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?

By this time the class was onto him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"

"No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good!" Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"

One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things into it!"

"No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."

-What are your "big rocks?" What SHOULD be your big rocks that may have been left out and you are trying (or want to try) to fit in?

-Always remember to invest in that which will last the longest!!

Credit: I got this from the Discipleship book we're using in a class at my church, but it definitely applies to everyone.

Revealed Knowledge

I’m going to try something a little different in this post. In the past year or so, I’ve made a strong stance on a lot of major issues in the world. And I know many people don’t agree with some of what I’ve said. I want to take the opportunity to try and explain where I’m coming from. So I hope you give me a chance and read through this.

To understand where I’m coming from you need to know about Christianity. Based on my experience, many of the people I know may have a church background or attend church but still may not understand what it fully means to be a Christian (probably b/c the world and too many hypocrites out there have given them a very skewed view of what Christianity is).

There is a very important aspect of Christianity that many people do not fully understand. I will do my best to explain it.

It begins with a verse from Ephesians 5:9-12:

“… as believers walk in the light of the truth, the knowledge of the Lord’s will becomes clear.

As well as Romans 12:1-2 (from the Amplified Bible):

1 I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.

2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].”

-The closer we get to God in our daily walk with Him, the further we want to be from things of this world. We begin to see things in a different light- and it is difficult to explain it to people (mostly b/c many are still caught up in the world’s perspective that they don’t want to acknowledge certain things or they have been lied to/deceived and are so far from God that they truly don’t see what is wrong with their lives or in this world- they basically have a type of blinders on).

-I see this in my own life. A big example- as most of you pretty much know- I love music, I especially like Rock music. I’ve been to over 200 concerts and liked many hard bands (stuff like Metallica, Judas Priest, The Offspring, Linkin Park, etc). But when you find true peace in your heart, the loud, hard (even angry) rock just doesn’t appeal to you so much anymore (I can’t really listen to bands like Staind or Disturbed anymore). Honestly, I haven’t even listened to a Metallica album in over a year, and they were one of my all-time favorite bands. I just don’t have that anger that relates anymore, and I just don’t feel a need or desire to listen to that kind of music. And I used to rail against anyone who would tell me that metal or rock music was “devil music” and that I shouldn’t listen to it. I would say “I’m not dumb/I’m not going to let music affect the way I think and act. I can still be a good Christian and listen to whatever I wanted, as long as I didn’t fall into that kind of lifestyle.”

-But looking back on it- it did affect me, even if it was just in minor ways. It could amplify my mood- and if I was upset or sad, that wasn’t a very good thing. It can even affect your outward appearance/style of dress. (So while I was trying to act and LOOK like a Christian- I didn’t really succeed b/c I looked like everyone else in the world, and we are called as Christians to stand apart).

We always hear the saying “you are what you eat.” Well we’re more than just what we eat- we are (everything) that we consume- whether that be music, TV, books, etc (so we need to be careful about what we take in).

-We may deny that or even if we see some truth to it, we may say “but I’m not hurting myself or anyone else! There’s “technically” nothing wrong with what I’m consuming and/or what I’m becoming.”

-But that’s not true. Because even if you are a “good person” and what you consume doesn’t have any (what you may consider) ill effects on you or those around you- it’s still separating you from God- who is supposed to be the #1 thing in your life (it’s the 1st Commandment).

-So in my journey, I struggled with a few things. I kept fighting, wanting to listen to my music. So changes didn’t really happen overnight. Actually, I kind of gave up with the whole back and forth and figured I could listen to whatever I wanted as long as I continued in my Christian walk and tried to grow closer to God.

-And that’s when God hit me with an unexpected curveball. I started to pray more, read the Bible more, pay closer attention when I was in church (lol). I became closer in my walk with the Lord and my mind started to become more open and aware of the things around me.

-I began to decrease listening to my harder music, not so much as a conscious decision at first. My desire to do so just began to fade b/c I was filling my life with more meaningful and important things. (I think Romans 8:9 says it best: “But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you…”). I still went to some concerts though, and that’s where it really began to hit me. I would look around at the people around me, and I could almost tangibly feel the sadness in the air. I could sense the emptiness and the longing for love and peace. I was able to read it on people’s faces and sense it in their body language- it just felt like a heavy spirit in the room.

This happened a few times too. I kind of shook it off and ignored it at first. But as I sensed it each consecutive time, I tried to rationalize and explain it and wonder why I could sense this, but others around me seemed to be oblivious to it.

But then I began to put together the pieces of the puzzle- God was revealing himself and his knowledge to me. Not only was I growing closer to him and beginning to do things better for myself, but I was able to sense when other people were hurting and longing/searching for something (God) and even figure out why (in some cases). I also began to link things- how one issue that may even seemingly be stand-alone can affect other areas in a person’s life and really change them or their circumstances in a dramatic way.

-Now I don’t know if this is necessarily “the knowledge” that we receive from God that they talk about in the Bible, but I believe it’s definitely part of it. And I don’t know if I’ve fully explained myself well. But one of the main points I wanted to convey is that you do get something out of giving yourself to God. You don’t do it for yourself, the main point is to glorify God, but this is one of the “side-effects.”

This is also why people need to be mindful when they criticize some Christians in the media. Granted, I don’t know where these people each really are with their walk w/God (ex. Pat Robertson, Bill Keller). People see them as fanatics or “out of touch” or bigots or other worse things. But they might not be. Hatred and bigotry come from some other place in a person’s heart/soul. Even if you don’t agree with what a Christian may preach, you need to look at where they are coming from. If it’s coming from their belief system and personal convictions according to what God has shown them, it’s not necessarily “hate.” Now I’m not saying there isn’t hate out there and people say and do many inappropriate things in the name of “God,” but if you read my last post about tolerance (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10150097411023753), as I mentioned there, if you really look at a person’s life and their heart and ACTIONS, you can tell where their true feelings and convictions are coming from when they express a certain belief or criticism. This is not the same as other examples of racists or bigots, like Nazi’s that may have grown up believing one thing b/c they didn’t know any better. People need to make logical progressions for their actions- what people like that did can never be justified b/c it wasn’t done out of love- it was done for power, control or just overall selfishness (the underlying cause of many issues).

-In the end, you may be skeptical about what I’m telling you now and it may sound like I’m telling you to give up aspects of your life that are important to you. That’s not necessarily what I’m telling you.

-Just because I have stopped listening to a lot of secular music and am not watching certain movies or TV shows anymore doesn’t mean I’m going to think badly of anyone who does. I’m not even going to get on anyone’s case about whether they should stop or not. Like I said earlier, I’ve been on the other side. I’ve had people tell me “you shouldn’t listen to/watch that.” And it can be aggravating, and honestly, it doesn’t really work (it didn’t for me). I had to realize it all on my own, and you would have to also. I’m just trying to give my testimony and what can happen in your life if you were to make that decision to grow closer to God. Your priorities and desires begin to change and reflect God’s influence in your life.

-One of the main points I want to make is that there IS a revelation of knowledge when you grow closer to God and become more like Christ. And it could take time, this won’t happen overnight or in a week or a month or possibly even a year. But it will make your life better- I guarantee it. It may not be easy b/c you will begin to realize you may need to make some sacrifices or changes in your lives. I understand how it can totally seem unfair to you to have someone tell you that you’re either living in sin or not living the right way (or the best way you can) and telling you to change without really explaining what you are giving these things up for. It makes it seem like you have to give and give and give (while feeling guilt and shame on top of it). No one wants to hear that.

-But there is something in it for you- there is a peace and joy and knowledge. So next time someone tries witnessing to you, rather than ignoring, or worse, getting mad or offended, I encourage you to give them the opportunity to share where they are coming from and why. Better yet, pick up a Bible and find out for yourself, especially if you are at a point in your life that you feel broken or your life isn’t going as planned, you don’t know what else to do, you’re tired of being in the same vicious cycle… What do you have to lose in giving God a chance? It’s good to take a thorough evaluation of where your life is at and what you’ve done up to this point. You may realize that nothing else you’ve tried has worked. You will be surprised at what truths you will begin to find.

I’ll close this with sharing one more verse:

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”- John 14:27

Tolerance- What It Really Means

Tolerance, bigotry, hate, and judgment are all words being thrown around a lot in society today. Especially from those on opposing sides of a heated debate.

I hear these words a lot as a Christian. Mostly being directed towards Christians for sharing their beliefs. Some people in the world don’t like a lot of what we have to say, so they’ll throw these words at us to try to quiet us down.

Thing is that many people don’t even know the meaning of a few of these words! They’ll say things like “you aren’t practicing tolerance!” or “don’t judge me/ you have no right to judge me!” And they are using these words incorrectly.

First off- tolerance. What is it?

Most people would go back to the root of the word “tolerate” which is basically defined as “putting up with something bad.”

However, tolerance doesn’t mean to put up with bad things. We call tolerance a virtue, but we wouldn’t call it virtuous to put up with just any bad thing- such as murder and rape.

To quote a book I read recently called “Ask Me Anything- Provacative Answers for College Students” by J. Budziszewski- “tolerance doesn’t mean putting up with good things either. So it MUST be about putting up with bad things. To an extent… tolerance is the wisdom to know which bad things to put up with and when. Why and to what degree to put up with them- and the settled disposition of acting on that wisdom.”

Basically, in other words it means that tolerance doesn’t mean tolerating everything. It means tolerating tolerable things. And in order to decide which frustrations or activities are tolerable and which aren’t, we need a moral framework.

However, there’s the rub. As I’ve mentioned in some of my previous writing, people think tolerance will enable them to get along even if they have different moral frameworks. The problem is if your spouse/relative/friend/roommate/etc’s moral framework is radically different from yours, then that person’s view of the tolerable may also be radically different from yours. [I could go on much more on just this statement alone, but that’s an entire post for another day, lol.]

The book goes on to give an interesting example (which I’ll shorten for brevity’s sake) that helps answer the question of when to tolerate and to what degree?

It starts with asking a few questions:

“How should we treat a person who acts heroically?”

-We could give him a medal.

How about someone who enjoys farting loudly?

-Avoid him.

How about a bad-tempered bully who likes to pick fights?

-Avoid him- and warn others to avoid him too.

How about a fellow who burglarizes your house?

-Put him in jail.”

This shows four behaviors. The example assigned four different levels of toleration, with honors at one end and punishment at the other. You need wisdom to know not only what to tolerate, but also how far to go.

Then there is the common example of when to show tolerance, such as speech. We should always “put up with” (and hear out) people expressing false or opposing opinions in debates. However, it’s not okay for people to shout “Fire!” in a crowded theater (there’s even a law against it).

The issue comes when someone (including myself), speaks from a Christian perspective and some people call us intolerant. Too many people wrongly define the Christian view as intolerant. They contradict themselves by saying “it’s intolerant to have strong convictions”, but they themselves show strong convictions by saying “it’s intolerant to say that anyone else’s view is false or that any behavior is wrong.”

So I just want to clear some things up about “tolerance” and “judgment.”

Sorry to spoil it for some people out there but it is NOT [always] intolerant to simply express an opposing view, no matter how much you disagree with it (this counts for all discussions, including those on hotly-debated topics like abortion, gay marriage, etc).

However, there are ground rules we must follow (especially Christians) so it doesn’t come across as being “high and mighty” or judging someone.

There are four ground rules to follow and they are:

1) It’s not necessarily intolerant to express strong convictions, BUT tolerance requires doing so with gentleness and humility.

(Basically, you can’t just blurt out your convictions without giving any reasons).

2) It’s not necessarily intolerant to suggest that an opposing view is false, BUT tolerance requires doing so with charity and patience.

(We need to listen better and try to see where people supporting the opposing view are coming from to better understand them).

3) It’s not necessarily intolerant to suggest that a particular behavior should NOT be tolerated, BUT tolerance requires learning to draw the line.

(Think of it this way- if tolerance is the wisdom of knowing which bad things to put up with, then you can miss the mark in either of two directions, such as putting up with what you shouldn’t or by not putting up with what you should).

4) It’s not necessarily intolerant to express a “moral judgment”- a conclusion of reasoning about right and wrong or good and bad, BUT tolerance requires doing so without presumption or self-righteousness.

(It’s okay for people, including Christians, to correct “wrong behavior.” If you see someone committing a sin (such as knowing they are being promiscuous or thinking of committing abortion) then you can tell them that their behaviors are wrong and self-destructive. That is NOT judging a person (despite what others may have you believe, or possibly what you may believe yourself). That is correcting them (which is allowed and even ordered in the Bible), so that they may not hurt themselves or others and trying to save their souls. Judging, would be if you took it upon yourself to punish that person, b/c you have no authority to do so (only God has that right, or the appointed legal/moral authority here on earth if their sin happens to be illegal). You shouldn’t stop being a good friend or neighbor to someone just b/c you disagree with their actions. You must continue to love them and treat them as you normally would. In many cases you should even go out of your way to show your love to that person more, b/c the reason they may be committing these sins/actions is that they are searching for something, including love and/or acceptance.)

Now some of you may disagree with the above statement, but that is how you show REAL love. Too many people confuse acceptance with love, but how are we to accept what is destroying a person? Promiscuity hurts the person committing it, drugs hurt the person abusing them, abortion kills the baby and leaves emotional scars on the parents- especially the mother. These are just a few quick examples. Is it love to just stand idly by and let a person commit those acts for fear of being called intolerant? Or is it love to reach out to the person, point out how they are hurting themselves and try to help them realize what they are doing and helping them want to make a change for the better?

Because THAT is what love is- it’s a commitment of the will to the TRUE good of the other person. Basically, you want what’s best for the other person and would hate anything that tried to destroy your beloved.

Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t give everyone the license to go around and call people out on all their actions. The Bible also says to not point out the speck in someone’s eye when you have a log in your own. (But be careful not to take that to the extreme either and think that no one can ever say anything to anyone b/c no one is free of sin, but I digress…)

In the end, we are commanded to love our neighbor. God wants what is best for us, and as Christians, we are to be like Christ. So generally (unfortunately, I can’t speak for everyone), we mean well, and I hope that helps open people’s understanding in order to have more civil discussions/debates in the future.

7th Annual Year-End Awards!

I’m really late on this one (sorry!) but here it is! I decided to do a slight change and instead of “Best of” I’m using “Favorite” b/c hey, tastes differ and I’m not trying to argue the merits of each of the things I picked, just what I personally felt.

Favorite Movie of the Year: Toy Story 3

1st Runner-Up: Despicable Me

2nd Runner-Up: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

It was a tight race for my favorite movie b/c I really enjoyed certain aspects of each movie. Despicable Me was more quotable, and I love the minions (I even bought 3 stuffed minions, lol) but Toy Story just resonated with me. As many of you know, I’m a collector, and one of the things I collect and display are my toys. I’ve never gotten rid of any of my old toys, for various reasons. And the ending to the movie just really made me think.

-As for Harry Potter, it was just awesome, and stayed really true to the book, which was a refreshing change from the last few movies.

***

Favorite CD/album of the Year: David Crowder Band- Church Music

1st Runner-Up: David Crowder Band- A Collision or (3+4=7)

2nd Runner-Up: Chris Tomlin- Hello Love

This was the year of the David Crowder Band for me. I downloaded like 5 of their albums this year. It was a tight call between “Church Music” and “A Collision or (3+4=7)” b/c “A Collision” had a great flow to it as an entire album. But “Church Music” just had some of the best individual songs, including what I consider to be one of the greatest Hard Rock Christian songs ever- “God Almighty, None Compares.” The lead singer’s voice kind of reminds me of one of my other favorite bands- Our Lady Peace in some of their songs, so that’s a big plus for me. They just have well-written and powerful songs, that sets them apart from other artists (let alone just other Christian artists). Those two albums were definitely the highest in my iPod rotation this year.

-Chris Tomlin’s album was just a great worship album. It’s definitely a great follow-up to his two previous solid albums. These are songs we’ll be singing for awhile.

-Now some of you may look at my favorite CDs and be wondering where all my “usual kind of music” is. I did download a bunch of albums from some of my favorite artists, but none of them really stood out to me. I purchased three Weezer albums (two new ones and the Pinkerton special edition)- they were solid but nothing spectacular. I got the new Lostprophets and Linkin Park albums- both bands are known for angst, but their first 2-3 albums had no profanity in it whatsoever and they got their emotions and point across, so I was disappointed in their latest offerings b/c they resorted to using profanity in a few of their songs, which I didn’t feel was necessary. The new Alter Bridge is pretty solid, but I got it towards the end of the year, so I wasn’t able to get enough listens in to justify placing it any higher.

Also, just overall I have not been listening to as much secular music as I have in the past. I just haven’t been “feeling it.” When I put on my iPod, I just have a desire to listen to worship music and praise God, or just listen to stuff with uplifting lyrics. I’ll still pop on stuff like Foo Fighters every once in awhile, but I’ve pretty much stopped listening to the harder/angrier stuff I used to always listen to b/c I just have no desire to hear it anymore. I haven’t listened to Disturbed in forever. Honestly, I haven’t even listened to more than 3-4 Metallica and/or Judas Priest songs a few times in the past YEAR, and they were a couple of my favorite bands.

***

Favorite Book of the Year: The Bible

1st Runner-Up: Carol Kornacki- A Soul for Sale

2nd Runner-Up: Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

I put the Bible as my favorite book of the year, b/c it was this year that I finally finished reading through the entire Bible (it took me a couple of years). So I was proud of that accomplishment and just happy to have a better understanding of God’s word. I already purchased a new Bible in October and am now re-reading through it in different translation to try and get even more out of it and it’s been great so far and I look forward to continuing this journey.

-Carol Kornacki’s book was just a powerful testimony. It’s pretty much her life story, which I’ve heard in pretty good detail over the years since I was young, and it’s still one that captivates me. She’s one of my favorite speakers, and it was cool to read some of the stories she’s told us over the years in even greater depth. I highly recommend this book if you want proof on how God can change your life for the better if you surrender to His will, no matter how “terrible” a person you may be feel you are.

-Percy Jackson was my “fun read” for the year. I try to get a few of those in every year, but I didn’t get to read much this year. As it is, it took me like 7-8 months to get through this book b/c I didn’t have a lot of time. But it was a fun book and much better than the movie version that we saw on the flight back from Florida.

***

Favorite Video Game of the Year: Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

1st Runner-Up: LEGO Batman

2nd Runner-Up: Super Mario Bros. Wii

Didn’t get as much video game playing in this year as I would have liked (Legend of Zelda is still just sitting there, mostly untouched… d’oh). But I did play a few fun games this year. I FINALLY got around to playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, and I absolutely loved it. The controls took me a little bit of time to get a hang of, but once I did I was having a blast using all the force powers. I’ve been dying to download the extra levels and was hoping the price on them would go down (they’re currently $10 each and there are two) since the second game came out, but that hasn’t happened yet. Hopefully, I’ll get to that sooner than later.

-LEGO Batman almost claimed the #1 spot. I’m still actually playing through it! It’s such a long game, with so many things to unlock. The replay value on this game is ridiculous. I love the amount of characters in it and using the different special attacks each of the characters have. It took all the cool parts from LEGO Star Wars and improved upon it. The only downside is that I have the game for the PS2, and the colors on it just seem really dark to me. I know there is a lot of black in the game, but it just really makes the levels hard to view at times. I was forced to play in the dark so I make things out, which thankfully helped a lot. But other than that, it’s been a really fun game.

-Super Mario Bros Wii is another fun game, especially when you play with more than one person. I’ve done a lot on my own, but it was really fun to go through it with Jordan. We’ve gotten up to the 6th World so far, and I look forward to going through the rest. It’s just a great flashback to the great Mario games of the past.

***

Favorite TV Show of the Year: How I Met Your Mother

1st Runner-Up: Modern Family

2nd Runner-Up: Man v. Food

This was a tough one for me to decide on. I really enjoyed Modern Family this year, there were so many hilarious moments and all the characters are fun to watch and compare to my own family. But HIMYM was a show I had been looking forward to catching up on for awhile. I had heard so many good things about it, and had caught like 2 or 3 episodes on TV here and there and had enjoyed them. So this year, I joined Netflix and the first thing I did was put HIMYM seasons on it. Right now we’re on the 4th season, and both Ariana and I are loving it. I think it’s the perfect successor to Friends but for our generation. So many of the gags are things people my age (in their late 20’s-early 30’s) will really relate to.

-Man v. Food is another fun show, but for a totally different reason. Adam Richmond is an entertaining host, but the real star of the show is the food. Me & Ariana have a little checklist of many of the places he has gone that we’d love to hit eventually. We’ve discussed going on a “fat-cation” many times to visit a bunch of those places, which I’m sure will happen one day, lol.

***

Favorite Concert of the Year:Our Lady Peace @ Massey Hall

1st Runner-Up: Hillsong United (during Battlecry) @ Izod Center

2nd Runner-Up: Reel Big Fish @ Irving Plaza

Back in March, Ariana, Stevo and I had the opportunity to go to Toronto to visit our friend Rachael and see Our Lady Peace perform on back to back nights at the famous Massey Hall for two amazing concerts. The first night OLP played their album “Clumsy” in its entirety, followed by a greatest hits set. The second night OLP played “Spiritual Machines” in it’s entirety, also followed by a greatest hits set.

We had great seats both nights. It’s funny b/c going into the shows I was more psyched for the “Clumsy” night and thought that would be the better of the two shows. But OLP felt a bit off during the “Clumsy” portion of that evening. I think it was a combination of a lack of energy from the crowd and maybe having played out a bunch of the songs from Clumsy over the years. The greatest hits portion of that night really kicked it up though. Then the night of Spiritual Machines just blew me away. I had forgotten how many great songs that album had on it, and how rare it was to hear some of them live. Combining that with a very energized and lively home-town crowd really made it a special evening.

-The Hillsong concert was part of a Christian weekend event called Battlecry. It was a powerful weekend with a lot of great testimony, sermons and worship. Hillsong was the main act for the first evening and they put on a great show. There was some issues at first though b/c our church’s seats were on the top level and the speakers at the Izod Center went bad in our section, so we could barely hear a lot of what was going on for most of the night. I took it upon myself to try to speak with someone to either get things fixed or move us to better seats. It took a lot of legwork and talking to different people, but I was able to get a few of us into like the 5th row of the arena, so we were really close to the band when they came out. So that was pretty cool, b/c I was able to “save the day” for a few members of our group.

-The Reel Big Fish show was fun b/c it just took me back to the beginnings of my concert-going. It was a serious flashback to 1998. Jordan was able to hook me up with a VIP pass into the show (so I got in for free) and was able to go with my buddy Steve. We had actually both gone to see RBF back in 98 as well (separately, but met up at the show) and this time the band wound up playing a LOT of songs from their first three albums, so it was really cool b/c that’s their best known stuff.

***

Awesome Moments of the Year: Our trip to Florida in August (Universal Studios for Harry Potter & TNA) and then the Star Wars Celebration V Convention.

1st Runner-Up: Trip to Toronto (for OLP concerts)

2nd Runner-Up: My Graduation!!

Honorable Mentions: 1) Young Adult Retreat in January

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that I never finished (let alone posted) my blog for our Orlando vacation. So I’m not sure where to even begin. I had sooo much fun that week. It was every fanboy’s dream come true, and I got to share it with my beautiful wife, who enjoyed it just as much as I did.

The vacation started with us staying at the Doubletree at the Entrance to Universal Studios. It was a great spot b/c it was LITERALLY right at the entrance, so it wasn’t a far walk at all (so no need for car rental, parking, etc). On our first full day there we went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and had a free breakfast at the Three Broomsticks (where I got to try Butterbeer). Then we went on the awesome Forbidden Journey ride. Waiting on the line itself was even cool b/c there was so much to look at and take in (b/c the line takes you all throughout Hogwarts).

Then we got to sort of fulfill a childhood dream, by going to a live taping of Family Feud. Steve Harvey was the new host, and he was pretty funny. Both Ariana and I had a great time at the taping (they taped two shows). It was interesting to see how things are edited for TV- as Harvey said himself “TV… it’s the fakest thing in the world.”

Immediately after the Family Feud taping we got in line for the TNA Hardcore Justice PPV (where it was taken over by the original ECW guys). There was some drama about getting in (too long to get into now, the short version is they gave out more VIP passes than they had space for, which led to a lot of people complaining, myself included), but eventually in the end, Ariana and I made our way into the show (40 minutes late, but we were able to see the best parts). So it was a good time in the end.

The rest of the beginning of the Orlando vacation consisted of going on a ton of rides between Universal and Islands of Adventure (and taking LOTS of pics) and going to two more free TNA shows (for 3 in total- the Monday night show as the best- so many quality matches, and we had great seats). Also, we found out a bunch of the wrestlers were staying at our hotel. We ran into Tommy Dreamer at Walgreens and wound up walking back with him to the hotel, and saw Desmond Wolfe (formerly Nigel McGuiness from ROH) outside a nearby bar. We also saw Jeremy Borash at the hotel. So that was pretty cool.

The second half of our vacation was in another part of Orlando (we moved to a hotel near Sea World) and we went to two days of the Star Wars Celebration V Convention. As a huge Star Wars geek, this was the ultimate experience. There was so much to look at and do. There were tons of people in costume (many looked extremely authentic) and a bunch of the stars from the movies had attended. I took a million pictures, lol. I even brought along my Anakin Skywalker Jedi costume and dressed in it on the second day (I know, sounds lame, but it was totally fun, and great for pictures with the other characters). In the end, I dubbed our vacation “Geek Week” b/c it was just the ultimate in geeky experiences. I don’t know if it would have been possible for me to have had more fun.

-Our trip to Toronto at the beginning of the year was really cool. With the exception of the long bus rides (which honestly weren’t that bad, b/c we had a lot of room, just sitting for too long is bad for my back), we had a great time. The main purpose in going to Toronto was going to see Our Lady Peace in back to back concerts at Massey Hall (which I mentioned above in Favorite concerts). But our friend Rachael lives up there, so we were able to visit (hadn’t seen her in awhile) and avoid hotel expenses at the same time. Our friend Steve joined us later on, for both shows. I had never been up to Canada before, so it was cool to explore the city of Toronto. It rained a lot that weekend, but luckily they have the underground passageways that connect most of the city, so we got around pretty decently. We also had a lot of good stuff to eat, including Peameal bacon (basically Canadian bacon, but obviously they don’t call it that, lol) sandwiches at this famous marketplace in the city. I’d be tempted to go back up there just for that, they were soooo good. But overall, it was just a cool weekend to catch up with old friends, explore a new and fun city and take in a couple of amazing shows. Good times.

-My graduation was something I had been looking forward to for awhile. My school counseling program was different than other graduate programs, in that it required us to take it part time in order to fit in our practicums and internships. So it took us all four years to get through (on top of the fact I had already done a year and a half at Fordham that mostly got tossed out the window). It took a LOT of hard work and perseverance but I made it through with the grace of God. So graduation day was my day to celebrate and just have fun. So I wore my WWE World Heavyweight Championship belt under my gown and brought it out during the actual ceremony when they announced our class had officially graduated. I got a bunch of fun pics with my classmates and even my professors, while holding or wearing it, lol. I then celebrated with my family at Tosca for lunch and Icee Capades for dessert. Then at night I celebrated with a few of my classmates at Don Coqui in New Rochelle. It was definitely a fun and proud day.

-Lastly, honorable mention for favorite moment/experience was the Young Adult Retreat back at the beginning of the year. Bro. Mike Shreve was the special speaker and everything that went on that weekend just moved me and worked in me with things that had begun to be revealed to me the prior year. It was at this retreat that I decided to fully commit to what God has in store for me, and do what had been on my heart to do (and to continue to do). I hope people have been able to notice the change within me, and that it’s 100% for the better (even if people may not exactly like to hear what I have to say, lol).

So yeah, in the end, that’s a wrap up for my entire year. I hope you enjoyed reading and I look forward to trying to share more in my blogs in the future.

Why am I a Christian?

Some people may wonder, “why am I a Christian?” I’ve never been specifically asked that question myself, but I’m sure people may have wondered it about me.

I grew up in church my whole life, but that doesn’t mean I had an easy spiritual journey. Being a Christian is hard because it requires you to be like Christ, and that is not an easy task. Only one human was able to attain perfection and that was Jesus, so what chance do I or anyone else have? There is no chance at perfection, but I strive to be my best in order to please God.

But why do I want to please God so much?

Because I have seen what God has done in my life and what he has done in others’ lives. I have seen people healed of cancer and other life-threatening illnesses. And I’m not just talking “oh, this person went for chemo and now the cancer is gone, Praise God!” While yes, I’ve seen that too, what I’m talking about is I know specific people where doctors will tell them they only have months to live or they have an incurable disease or illness but through prayer (and sometimes through miracles), I’ve seen these people healed. What was once there is no longer there. I know of doctors that have been totally stumped as to how it happened.

I personally know people that have been cured of cancer, hepatitis B, and severe drug-addiction among other things. I’ve seen broken families restored, as well as God provide financial or physical resources to those who desperately needed it.

But don’t get me wrong. Being a Christian is not like finding a genie’s lamp, where if you have a problem you can just pray and wish it gone. Many times people turn to God only because they really want/need something. They’ll come calling like “Oh God, I’m months behind on my bills, I’m in danger of being homeless, please help me find a way to pay!” or “Lord, I just got a bad report from the doctor, I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle this. Heal me God!” And sometimes God will answer these prayers and sometimes God won’t. And many times I’ve seen God not answer these prayers and then the person will get all upset and mad with God. “God, why didn’t you help me! I came pleading to you! Why have you forsaken me?” And they may even take it out on Christians- “you’ve got a fake God. If your God was so loving, he would have helped me when I really needed it. Where was he then? You’re a fool for believing.”

And hearing these kinds of things makes me very sad, but also kind of angry. Just so you know- God doesn’t HAVE to answer anybody’s prayers. NONE of us deserve it! We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. However, God is a loving God that is filled with both mercy and grace. God may not always give us everything we want, but God can provide everything we need. It may not always be by the easy path though, and sometimes people mistake that for God not answering prayer, b/c he didn’t do it exactly as how they wanted it.

But think of it this way. Let’s say you’re not a Christian, or you believe in God in God but may not have a close relationship with Him. You ask God for something (like the above examples for financial relief or healing). If God were to answer your prayer, how would YOU react to it? Would you give the glory to God? Would you tell everyone you see- “God did this for me! It’s all due to Him. I thank Him for his blessings!” Some people might, but many people would not. But let’s say you did give praise to God- okay, great. That’s one thing, but that’s temporary. If you go on living your life as you had been, are you really grateful to him? That’s the equivalent of teenagers that make a mess of the house and never clean up after themselves despite being told all the time to do so and disrespect their parents by also giving them an attitude. But all of a sudden, they get sick, and now they need mom and dad. So mom and dad take care of the teenager. They nurse them back to health and may even spoil them a little to make them feel extra good. And once that teenager is better, he/she may say “thanks mom and dad! You were really there for me.” And the parents will be happy to be appreciated. Things may go well for the next few days or weeks, as everyone is still on that “high” from that bond that was created during that time of “struggle” and “deliverance.” But as time passes, that may fade, and if the teenager goes back to their old ways of making a mess of their house and disrespecting their parents again- are they showing true love and gratitude for what was done for them?

No! The way to show true love and gratitude for what has been done for you is by doing the right thing and living it everyday. For the example above- in order for that teenager to show they grateful for what their parents have done, then they must do as their parents tell them to do and not disrespect them anymore. That would mean more to the parents than a simple “thank you.”

Well it’s the same with God! If God does something for you, then thank him! But don’t just do it with mere words. You need to do it by your actions as well! Give God what he wants from you. He doesn’t ask for much. All he asks is that you honor, respect and love him above all other things. And that’s actually pretty easy, considering we have a lot of stuff that we tend to put ahead of God in our lives (ie. Television, sports, hobbies, even relationships and work).

But going back to my main point- if you think about it, maybe the reason God didn’t answer your prayer is b/c he knows your heart. God knows what we’re thinking and what we’re going to do. So He will see that you won’t be giving the glory for what He has done for you to Him, so why should he answer that prayer for you? It could just be that He knows that you need to continue to go through this trial in order to be fully broken down to the point where you will eventually turn to him.

Now some may balk at that concept and say “what kind of a ‘loving’ God is that? He should love us and help us no matter what because we’re supposedly made in his image! What kind of God would let us go through trials in order to force us to serve him??”

To respond to that- God does help many people that may not “deserve” it. Just to show His love for that person, and maybe one day that person may look back and say “wow, in times of great struggle and need, God really pulled through for me… and how have I repaid him? Maybe it’s time for me to change my ways.” But then again, maybe that person won’t say that, and will die without ever honoring God. That is an example of God’s grace- giving us something that not only we do not deserve but not even being grateful for it either. Now THAT is a Loving God! And in terms of the trials we may go through, God isn’t trying to test you or force you to come to him. If we look at our circumstances, many times it is our own doings that got us into the positions we are in. God gives us free will to make our own choices, and sometimes that includes allowing us to make our own mistakes and suffer the consequences. As for things that seem to come up out of nowhere like some illnesses, maybe God has allowed that to enter your life as a tool to bring you and your loved ones closer to him. He’s not forcing you into a relationship with him, you can live life on your own terms if you like. But doing it on your own is the harder road, and you won’t experience the peace that God gives, which is so unlike the peace that you may experience in the world.

So this ties back into the original question I asked at the beginning- “why am I a Christian?”

I’ve seen God move in people’s lives and felt his presence not only in church congregations but on my own as well. I have just seen and experienced so much not only through those around me but first-hand as well, that there is NO way that I can deny that God is real.

For example, many of you know what I went through in 2007. It was the biggest rollercoaster year of my life with some of the biggest joys but also biggest sadness and trials I have ever experienced. The year started with Ariana and I planning our wedding and deciding to purchase a co-op apartment. Either of these things can be nerve-racking experiences as I know many of you are aware of. There is just so much paperwork, planning and details to go through with both that they can be huge stressors.

So I had those two big projects on my plate, on top of my graduate schoolwork that I was already in the middle of, and then at the end of March of 2007, tragedy struck my family as my dad experienced many strokes in the middle of a heart operation, which left him with severe brain damage and clinging to life.

This just rocked my world, as this happened in a hospital in Connecticut. I had to go and see him in his condition, and then fight for a month to get him transferred down to the Bronx, all the while thinking of him lying in that bed mostly all alone. My dad held on for five months, and those were some of the most difficult months of my life. The wedding planning had kicked into full gear, we got the apartment at the end of June, but now we also had to squeeze in time for renovations before we got married and moved in in October, that and I had to take incompletes in my two classes, as I was unable to fully concentrate on my schoolwork with everything going on.

These are trials that individually could have sent a person into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety. And “little” things just kept popping up that would have driven most people mad. Renovations on the apartment were way behind schedule and starting to go over budget, Ariana had to move out of her apartment the week before the wedding, my dad passed away without a will or specified beneficiaries for certain things, forcing us to begin clearing out HIS apartment as well and get legal services to become an administrator of his estate, I was back in school with a really tough semester ahead, some members of Ariana’s family that were supposed to be a part of the wedding party created some over the top drama causing a huge rift in her family, where many members didn’t even attend the wedding… seriously, if it could have happened, it did during those months surrounding our wedding, lol. And while yes, these times were difficult, I have to say that I experienced a peace the entire time that I just couldn’t explain to you back then. I was able to smile and laugh at that time not because of some coping mechanism where I was hiding my pain. But I just fully had a sense of peace that I knew everything was going to work out and be alright b/c I trusted God and knew it didn’t make sense to worry or get depressed. And all of this was in the face of situations where it could be expected I should feel otherwise! What I’ve learned since that time is that God’s peace is different than the peace that the world offers. The most essential distinction I’ve seen is that God’s peace is not circumstantial. When Jesus spoke of his peace he said “Not as the world gives, do I give to you” (John 14:27). The peace of the world is dictated only and always by circumstances. God’s peace may not always be logical, but that doesn’t always mean that God’s peace is illogical, it just goes beyond mere human logic. Man’s logic fails to factor in the power and sovereignty of God.

Jesus goes onto say in John 14 “…let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” The fact that Jesus states for us to not allow our hearts to be troubled or fearful is an acknowledgement that there is a choice involved. The world determines how to feel by what happens to them. The Christian, however, determines how to feel by his/her relationship with God. We are not to give in to the temptation to be troubled or fearful when circumstances do not go the way we desire. In a nutshell, God’s peace is the absence of a troubled heart. We may not always get what we request, but we will always have the peace that it is in God’s hands, not ours.

Now I prayed for many things during that time of my life, and some of my prayers were answered but others obviously were not. I was grateful to God for the prayers he answered and was not mad at God for the prayers he did not answer. This was during a time, that while I was going to church, I still wasn’t living as I knew I should have been. But b/c of God’s grace He still worked in my life, b/c He knew the effect it would have on me. I understood that everything happened in its own way for its own reason. I didn’t understand the exact reasons behind everything then, but as time has passed I can look back and see how God helped me grow, showed me who were my true family and friends, provided for me both financially and physically, and everything HAS turned out well in the end. Were there some trials I would have preferred to not have gone through? Of course, but God knew what I needed in my life.

And I see so many of my friends and family struggling right now with so many different things- broken relationships, substance abuse, sickness, job-related stress, financial stress, sexual pressures, etc. People are looking for peace but aren’t finding it and it hurts me so much, b/c I know the answer but not everyone wants to listen to it. I hope what I’ve shown you today is evidence enough for how God can work in people’s lives and that God loves you and only wants the best for you.

If you’d like to get to know God better, or just talk about things I’d be more than happy to talk and pray with you, just contact me anyway you prefer (phone, e-mail, IM, text, etc). Hope to speak with you soon! I leave you with this verse:

Romans 1:5- “And now through Christ, all kindness [grace] of God has been poured out upon us undeserving sinners; and now he is sending us out around the world to tell all people everywhere the great things God has done for them, so that they, too, will believe and obey him.”

Feeling Patriotic

[Originally posted July 4, 2010]

This song came up on my ipod today as I was driving to my relative's home for our 4th of July BBQ. It's a great song, that actually came out in the 90's and talks about the state of affairs of America and how we've let ourselves go in certain aspects. So many things have gotten out of control due to people in society actively trying to take God out of the equation. It's kind of scary how it's even more true in this day and age.

People may not agree with me, and I'm not saying it's something that needs to be forced down people's throat but I believe, as this song states, that God is the answer to America's problems.

Check out the lyrics to this song (I've highlighted some parts that I really like):

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson
Samuel Adams, First Chief Justice John Jay
Names synonymous with the spirit of our country
Founding fathers of the U.S.A.

Over 200 years ago they shook off the chains of tyranny from Great Britain
By divine call
Citing 27 biblical violations they wrote the Declaration of Independence
With liberty and justice for all

But something happened since Jefferson called the Bible the cornerstone
For American liberty then put it in our schools as a light
Or since "Give me liberty, or give me death," Patrick Henry said
Our country was founded on the Gospel of Jesus Christ

We eliminated God from the equation of American life
Thus eliminating the reason this nation first began
From beyond the grave I hear the voices of our founding fathers plead
You need God in America again

Of the 55 men who formed the Constitution
Fifty-two were active members of their church
Founding fathers like Noah Webster who wrote the first dictionary
Could literally quote the Bible chapter and verse

James Madison said, "We've staked our future on our ability to follow
The Ten Commandments with all our heart"
These men believed you couldn't even call yourself an American
If you subvert the Word of God

In his farewell address, Washington said, "You can't have national morality apart from religious principle," and it's true
'Cause right now we have nearly 150,000 kids carrying guns
To these war zones we call public schools

In the '40's and '50's student problems were chewing gum and talking
In the '90's, rape and murder are the trend
The only way this nation can even hope to last this decade
Is put God in America again

The only hope for America is Jesus
The only hope for our country is Him
If we repent of our ways stand firm and say
We need God in America again

Abe Lincoln said, "The philosophy of the classroom in one generation
Will be the philosophy of government of the next"
So when you eliminate the Word of God from the classroom and politics
You eliminate the nation that Word protects

America is now number one in teen pregnancy and violent crime
Number one in illiteracy, drug use, and divorce
Everyday a new holocaust of 5,000 unborn die
While pornography floods our streets like open sewers

America's dead and dying hand is on the threshold of the Church
While the spirit of Sodom and Gomorrah vex us all
When it gets to the point where people would rather
Come out of the closet than clean it
It's a sign that the judgment of God is gonna fall

If there's ever been a time to rise up Church, it's now
And as the blood bought saints of the living God proclaim
That it's time to sound the alarm from the Church house to the White House
And say, "We want God in America again"

I believe it's time for America to stand up and proclaim
That one nation under God is our demand
And send this evil lifestyle back to Satan where it came from
And let the Word of God revive our dying land

For Jesus Christ is coming back again in all His glory
And every eye shall see Him on that day
That's why a new anointing of God's power's coming on us
To boldly tell the world you must be saved

Because astrology won't save you, your horoscope won't save you
The Bible says these things are all a farce
If you're born again, you don't need to look to the stars for your answers
'Cause you can look to the very One who made those stars

History tells us time and time again
To live like there's no God makes you a fool
If you want to see kids live right
Stop handing out condoms and start handing out the Word of God in schools

The only hope for America is Jesus
The only hope for our country is Him
If we repent of our ways
Stand firm and say
We need God in America again

We need God in America
God in America
God in America again

Guilt & Shame

[Originally posted May 20, 2010]

Guilt & shame are two of some of the emotions people least like to feel. Don’t you hate feeling guilty? Don’t you feel so small and so low when you feel shame? People go to great lengths to avoid feeling these emotions.

However, sometimes people need to feel these emotions in order to correct their actions and set them back on the right path (just like when we were kids and our parents scolded us when we did something wrong. We felt bad, but it helped us to grow into better people).

You have people going out and living their lives in a way that goes against God’s will, even fellow supposed “Christians” who not only try to justify their actions, but also take pride in their sin. Pride can become a dangerous weapon and anyone should be careful how he or she handles it. The Bible speaks against having pride for many reasons- one such reason is that it makes people feel that they themselves have the power, and their life circumstances are all b/c of their own doing. This is not true. While God does give us free will, he can choose to bless or not bless every action that we do. That is why we must always glorify God for our accomplishments because without God’s blessing, it would not be so.

So people begin to take pride & ownership of the sins they commit, because if they are proud of it, then it gives them the power and lessens (and tries to limit) the guilt and shame they’d feel for the sin. It’s hard to go up to someone and tell them what they did (or are doing) is wrong if they are proud of what they have done, isn’t it?

Pride is a tool of Satan. Does that mean you can never feel a sense of accomplishment? No, of course not. For instance, I myself am graduating with my Masters degree in a week. I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment and a certain amount of pride. However, I know this accomplishment is due to the Lord’s help. I went through a lot of tough times while trying to earn this degree and God helped me through all of them. So I know I could not have done it alone and so I give God the glory.

But there is a difference between that and having pride and taking ownership over sin. Some people boast of their sexual activity- talking about how many people they’ve slept with, proud to be baby-mama’s- justifying their actions by saying things like “it’s my body, I’ll do what I want.” “There’s nothing wrong with what I do!” And they always follow it with the Maury or Jerry Springer favorite- “Don’t judge me!”

This phrase is a sinner’s favorite phrase to throw in someone’s face that doesn’t agree with what they do. People especially like to say it to Christians. They take scriptures out of context all like “the Bible says not to judge people! That’s for God to do, not you!”

And yes, the Bible does say not to judge. However, judging and correcting are two different things. Christians are to always love and not judge but 2 Timothy 4:2 states “preach the word of God urgently at all times, whenever you get the chance, in season and out, when it is convenient and when it is not. Correct and rebuke your people when they need it, encourage them to do right, and all the time be feeding them patiently with God’s word.”

This means Christians shouldn’t judge you, but it IS okay to correct you/tell you what you are doing is wrong, as long as it’s done in love.

Look at the example of Jesus in John 8: 1-11, where the people brought before him a woman that was caught in the act of adultery. They wanted to trap Jesus into judging & punishing her. But instead he said, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Everyone at this point felt guilt and shame and couldn’t bring themselves to do it and they walked away. Then Jesus stated to the woman “where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, sir.” She said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Now go and sin no more.”

This clearly illustrates that Jesus did not judge the woman, but both he and the woman knew what she did was wrong and he corrected her by basically telling her to change her ways. Did this woman experience guilt and shame after Jesus told her this? The Bible doesn’t specifically say, but I’m sure she did because if she had not, what Jesus did for her would not have had as much impact.

Like I said before- people HATE being told they are wrong and can’t stand feeling guilt or shame. But Christians are called to go out and correct and save the world by leading them to Christ.

The issue comes when it is not done out of love or through love. Christians can’t go up to a woman who has had a baby out of wedlock and call her a “sl*t.” Nor should they go up to a gay male and call him a “f*g.” What does that accomplish? That is not what Jesus would have done.

You also can’t be caught in your own sin and expect to be taken seriously when you try to correct others. For example, you can’t tell someone who is using pot (or other drugs) that they are sinning and should stop, if you are co-habitating with your partner before marriage. Instead of feeling guilt or shame, the person will look for something else to focus on and will just look at your life and say “he/she is telling me I’m doing wrong, but technically so are they! What right does this person have to tell me I’m sinning?”

In the end, that is not an excuse either (although it is a very common one). Guilt and shame are not fun to experience but they exist for a reason. They can help you (in moderate doses, to a degree) grow in character and become a better person. Because if you continue to live in sin (whether you want to believe it is sin or not) then you will never find the true happiness and peace you are looking for in life. If you are sinning and continue to take pride in what you’re doing, then you can’t be surprised when things in life don’t go your way. I see it all the time, people being proud of their sin, but then having a bunch of problems in their lives and complaining about how hard their life is. It is not a coincidence that this is occurring. It’s part of the price you pay when you sin. If you eliminate the parts of your life that cause you to sin, it will put you on the path to experience the peace and happiness you are looking for. But this will only happen if you take ownership of your sin and don’t let your sin “own” you.

I love you all, and hope those who need it take this message to heart. God Bless!

Is being a Christian like being on a diet?

[Originally posted March 8, 2010]

I’ve been praying for all those around me for various things, as well as for myself in terms of helping me spread God’s word. One thing that has gone through my mind is “why wouldn’t people be open to Jesus’ love?” I mean, I know there are plenty of reasons out there, but it’s different for others than it was for me, since I was born and raised in church. I’ve seen both sides of the fence though, and this came to my mind today after some prayer and I immediately began to write it down and I feel that I need to share it right away.

****

Many times people feel that getting right with God (and being a good Christian) can be like a diet. The thing is that a diet often has a bad connotation to it and unfortunately, in this day and age, so does Christianity. I want to show you that while there are some parallels, it is not the same thing.

Often churches will say to you (especially as a new Christian) to immediately purge everything that makes you sin from your life. That is the equivalent of crash dieting or fasting without preparation. It doesn’t always work. You may lose “weight” and feel better about yourself at first, but usually you eventually gain everything right back.

Now let me make one thing clear- yes, it is important to get rid of major things that cause you to sin and fall (ex. doing drugs, cheating on your spouse, etc), which is what you would do in a healthy diet (ex. cutting down, sometimes drastically, the number of sweets and salts that you eat- especially based on your health).

But some people need to have this done gradually. This is a VERY fine line to walk and depends on the discipline of the person. Just how some diets work for some people and not others and vice versa. People can be saved only one way (through Jesus), but at different intensity levels.

For example, throwing out all your worldly CDs & DVDs in order to really focus on God may be nice and helpful at first, but if you don’t have the right continued spiritual backing behind it, eventually you’ll crave that stuff again and you may even resent the fact that you got rid of it in the first place and thus begin resenting the church and God (you do not know how many times I’ve seen this… especially amongst teenagers).

I feel that God is putting on my heart to say that you don’t need to be this extreme at first. God will eventually touch you and your spirit will bring you away from these things on its own as you grow stronger in Christ. You can’t force or guilt someone into getting rid of all things because they can become resentful.

For example, there may be a new young Christian that is struggling with lust and pornography. Obviously, this person should get rid of the porn in order to not be tempted anymore, and maybe cut down on their time on the internet to limit access to it. But it may be even harder for that person if you also insist to them they also give up the music they listen to, the way they dress, the books they read and more all at the same time. Some people can do this and come out a stronger Christian in the end but some people just can’t handle that all at once, and as a new Christian they may not have the faith needed to overcome.

As I stated before, this is a very fine line. It really depends on the person, and that is what churches and Christians really need to understand in order to effectively evangelize.

Yes, some people are weaker than others and may need to purge everything in order not to fall, but it requires either discipline or a strong guide to be held accountable to.

I don’t mean this in a way to compromise- not at all. I feel it is important to get rid of all things that cause us to sin, but sometimes, certain people may need to work up to it, just like with a diet. If you do a diet right, it’s not really a diet- it’s healthy eating habits. Little by little, eventually you like the results so much that you’ll go deeper with it. You’ll begin to cut out most (if not all) junk food, start buying organic foods, change the way you eat, etc. Basically in this metaphor being healthier overall is the equivalent to becoming a stronger Christian.

And in the opposite aspect- think about when people are thinking about or starting diets. They may be living an unhealthy lifestyle and not like how they look or feel, so they want the change, but even then it can be hard. But then there are other people that feel they are fine and don’t want to change b/c it means giving up food they love and they’d rather live a “shorter but happier life.” Even though that could mean hardship, death and sadness all around. Often times people look at a diet and say “woah, this is way too hard. I need to give up too much. I’m not going to bother with this. My eating habits/lifestyle isn’t that bad. I’ll manage somehow.” And sadly, this is the exact same reaction many people have toward Christianity.

In the end, for anyone who feels compelled to make changes in their life that will strengthen their relationship with God and their spiritual health that process can happen in small increments that build toward something greater. It doesn’t have to happen overnight. Much like having healthy eating habits, all that’s required is to have an open heart & mind, be committed to make those changes, not condemn yourself if the changes don’t take place right away, and develop the discipline to follow through.

With much love, God Bless!

JE

Another Important Note- The Manhattan Declaration (please read!!)

I came across the following piece (pasted just under the break) not too long ago and had skimmed through it and liked what I saw. So I saved it and promised myself to come back to it. Today, I was in the process of praying about what God wanted me to share next and I started to compile another message or two, but then something told me to really read through this.

So I did, and wow...

The words contained here are amazing. And it crosses along so much with a few of the points I planned on speaking about in the coming weeks. The flesh part of me is almost jealous that I wasn't the one to come up with this, but what this "declaration" touches on is of such utmost importance, that it's not surprising it took a large gathering of individuals (across many denominations) to be inspired by God to put this together. I also found it very interesting that today of all days was when I was inspired to read it (especially once you get to the end and see the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. reference).

ANYONE who claims to be Christian, Catholic, Methodist, etc (basically any belief in God and Jesus) NEEDS to read this. As I stated, this is a powerful document, and what amazes and impresses me even more about it, is how well it is written. Often times, many Christian speakers/writers have a message where they mean well, but don't bring across their message appropriately, which turns a lot of people (especially those who are not Christians) off. I think this declaration speaks in way that boldly proclaims what we as Christians [should] believe, without being offensive to those who believe otherwise.

I truly feel it's important for everyone to read this document. But please give yourself some time to get through it because it's long- about 7 pages. DO NOT JUST SKIM THROUGH IT! You'll miss some important stuff, and I'd hate for people to take certain things that are stated here out of context and either be offended or turned off. However, I am realistic and understand that the length of this document is daunting, even to the most scholarly among us, (as I stated, even I didn't fully read through it the first time I saw it). So what I'll also do for those among us with "ADD" (lol), is to break the document up into four parts (it already does have sections to it) and post one part each day for the next four days. That way it'll be easier for most to digest. So if you're more interested in reading it that way, once you're done reading my own preamble, you can move on to my next note which will be "part one."

Trust me, I don't copy other people's words very often unless I truly believe what they state. Everything in this document is something I fully believe in and feel very strongly about.

I'd really like to discuss (even debate if you are so inclined) what is brought up in this document. So please, let me know what you think. For further information, the original source for this document is: http://www.manhattandeclaration.org/

If you also agree with this declaration, I also encourage you to take a stand and join in and sign it.

Thanks for reading and God Bless!

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[This is the full document! To begin reading in installments, move on to my next note. Thanks!]

Manhattan Declaration: A Call of Christian Conscience
Drafted October 20, 2009
Released November 20, 2009


Preamble

Christians are heirs of a 2,000-year tradition of proclaiming God’s word, seeking justice in our societies, resisting tyranny, and reaching out with compassion to the poor, oppressed and suffering.

While fully acknowledging the imperfections and shortcomings of Christian institutions and
communities in all ages, we claim the heritage of those Christians who defended innocent life by rescuing discarded babies from trash heaps in Roman cities and publicly denouncing the
Empire’s sanctioning of infanticide. We remember with reverence those believers who sacrificed their lives by remaining in Roman cities to tend the sick and dying during the plagues, and who died bravely in the coliseums rather than deny their Lord.

After the barbarian tribes overran Europe, Christian monasteries preserved not only the Bible but also the literature and art of Western culture. It was Christians who combated the evil of slavery: Papal edicts in the 16th and 17th centuries decried the practice of slavery and first
excommunicated anyone involved in the slave trade; evangelical Christians in England, led by
John Wesley and William Wilberforce, put an end to the slave trade in that country. Christians
under Wilberforce’s leadership also formed hundreds of societies for helping the poor, the
imprisoned, and child laborers chained to machines.

In Europe, Christians challenged the divine claims of kings and successfully fought to establish the rule of law and balance of governmental powers, which made modern democracy possible. And in America, Christian women stood at the vanguard of the suffrage movement. The great civil rights crusades of the 1950s and 60s were led by Christians claiming the Scriptures and asserting the glory of the image of God in every human being regardless of race, religion, age or class.

This same devotion to human dignity has led Christians in the last decade to work to end the
dehumanizing scourge of human trafficking and sexual slavery, bring compassionate care to
AIDS sufferers in Africa, and assist in a myriad of other human rights causes – from providing
clean water in developing nations to providing homes for tens of thousands of children orphaned by war, disease and gender discrimination.

Like those who have gone before us in the faith, Christians today are called to proclaim the
Gospel of costly grace, to protect the intrinsic dignity of the human person and to stand for the common good. In being true to its own calling, the call to discipleship, the church through service to others can make a profound contribution to the public good.

Declaration

We, as Orthodox, Catholic, and Evangelical Christians, have gathered, beginning in New York on September 28, 2009, to make the following declaration, which we sign as individuals, not on behalf of our organizations, but speaking to and from our communities. We act together in obedience to the one true God, the triune God of holiness and love, who has laid total claim on our lives and by that claim calls us with believers in all ages and all nations to seek and defend the good of all who bear his image. We set forth this declaration in light of the truth that is grounded in Holy Scripture, in natural human reason (which is itself, in our view, the gift of a beneficent God), and in the very nature of the human person. We call upon all people of goodwill, believers and non-believers alike, to consider carefully and reflect critically on the issues we here address as we, with St. Paul, commend this appeal to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.

While the whole scope of Christian moral concern, including a special concern for the poor and vulnerable, claims our attention, we are especially troubled that in our nation today the lives of the unborn, the disabled, and the elderly are severely threatened; that the institution of marriage, already buffeted by promiscuity, infidelity and divorce, is in jeopardy of being redefined to accommodate fashionable ideologies; that freedom of religion and the rights of conscience are gravely jeopardized by those who would use the instruments of coercion to compel persons of faith to compromise their deepest convictions.

Because the sanctity of human life, the dignity of marriage as a union of husband and wife, and the freedom of conscience and religion are foundational principles of justice and the common good, we are compelled by our Christian faith to speak and act in their defense. In this declaration we affirm: 1) the profound, inherent, and equal dignity of every human being as a creature fashioned in the very image of God, possessing inherent rights of equal dignity and life; 2) marriage as a conjugal union of man and woman, ordained by God from the creation, and historically understood by believers and non-believers alike, to be the most basic institution in society and; 3) religious liberty, which is grounded in the character of God, the example of Christ, and the inherent freedom and dignity of human beings created in the divine image.

We are Christians who have joined together across historic lines of ecclesial differences to affirm our right—and, more importantly, to embrace our obligation—to speak and act in defense of these truths. We pledge to each other, and to our fellow believers, that no power on earth, be it cultural or political, will intimidate us into silence or acquiescence. It is our duty to proclaim the Gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in its fullness, both in season and out of season. May God help us not to fail in that duty.

Life
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

Although public sentiment has moved in a pro-life direction, we note with sadness that pro-
abortion ideology prevails today in our government. The present administration is led and staffed by those who want to make abortions legal at any stage of fetal development, and who want to provide abortions at taxpayer expense. Majorities in both houses of Congress hold pro-abortion views. The Supreme Court, whose infamous 1973 decision in Roe v. Wade stripped the unborn of legal protection, continues to treat elective abortion as a fundamental constitutional right, though it has upheld as constitutionally permissible some limited restrictions on abortion. The President says that he wants to reduce the “need” for abortion—a commendable goal. But he has also pledged to make abortion more easily and widely available by eliminating laws prohibiting government funding, requiring waiting periods for women seeking abortions, and parental notification for abortions performed on minors. The elimination of these important and effective pro-life laws cannot reasonably be expected to do other than significantly increase the number of elective abortions by which the lives of countless children are snuffed out prior to birth. Our commitment to the sanctity of life is not a matter of partisan loyalty, for we recognize that in the thirty-six years since Roe v. Wade, elected officials and appointees of both major political parties have been complicit in giving legal sanction to what Pope John Paul II described as “the culture of death.” We call on all officials in our country, elected and appointed, to protect and
serve every member of our society, including the most marginalized, voiceless, and vulnerable among us.

A culture of death inevitably cheapens life in all its stages and conditions by promoting the belief that lives that are imperfect, immature or inconvenient are discardable. As predicted by many prescient persons, the cheapening of life that began with abortion has now metastasized. For example, human embryo-destructive research and its public funding are promoted in the name of science and in the cause of developing treatments and cures for diseases and injuries. The President and many in Congress favor the expansion of embryo-research to include the taxpayer funding of so-called “therapeutic cloning.” This would result in the industrial mass production of human embryos to be killed for the purpose of producing genetically customized stem cell lines and tissues. At the other end of life, an increasingly powerful movement to promote assisted suicide and “voluntary” euthanasia threatens the lives of vulnerable elderly and disabled persons. Eugenic notions such as the doctrine of lebensunwertes Leben (“life unworthy of life”) were first advanced in the 1920s by intellectuals in the elite salons of America and Europe. Long buried in ignominy after the horrors of the mid-20th century, they have returned from the grave. The only
difference is that now the doctrines of the eugenicists are dressed up in the language of “liberty,” “autonomy,” and “choice.”

We will be united and untiring in our efforts to roll back the license to kill that began with the
abandonment of the unborn to abortion. We will work, as we have always worked, to bring
assistance, comfort, and care to pregnant women in need and to those who have been victimized by abortion, even as we stand resolutely against the corrupt and degrading notion that it can somehow be in the best interests of women to submit to the deliberate killing of their unborn children. Our message is, and ever shall be, that the just, humane, and truly Christian answer to problem pregnancies is for all of us to love and care for mother and child alike.

A truly prophetic Christian witness will insistently call on those who have been entrusted with
temporal power to fulfill the first responsibility of government: to protect the weak and vulnerable against violent attack, and to do so with no favoritism, partiality, or discrimination. The Bible enjoins us to defend those who cannot defend themselves, to speak for those who cannot themselves speak. And so we defend and speak for the unborn, the disabled, and the dependent. What the Bible and the light of reason make clear, we must make clear. We must be willing to defend, even at risk and cost to ourselves and our institutions, the lives of our brothers and sisters at every stage of development and in every condition.

Our concern is not confined to our own nation. Around the globe, we are witnessing cases of
genocide and “ethnic cleansing,” the failure to assist those who are suffering as innocent victims of war, the neglect and abuse of children, the exploitation of vulnerable laborers, the sexual trafficking of girls and young women, the abandonment of the aged, racial oppression and discrimination, the persecution of believers of all faiths, and the failure to take steps necessary to halt the spread of preventable diseases like AIDS. We see these travesties as flowing from the same loss of the sense of the dignity of the human person and the sanctity of human life that drives the abortion industry and the movements for assisted suicide, euthanasia, and human cloning for biomedical research. And so ours is, as it must be, a truly consistent ethic of love and life for all humans in all circumstances.

Marriage
The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:23-24

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:32-33

In Scripture, the creation of man and woman, and their one-flesh union as husband and wife, is the crowning achievement of God’s creation. In the transmission of life and the nurturing of children, men and women joined as spouses are given the great honor of being partners with God Himself. Marriage then, is the first institution of human society—indeed it is the institution on which all other human institutions have their foundation. In the Christian tradition we refer to marriage as “holy matrimony” to signal the fact that it is an institution ordained by God, and blessed by Christ in his participation at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. In the Bible, God Himself blesses and holds marriage in the highest esteem.

Vast human experience confirms that marriage is the original and most important institution for sustaining the health, education, and welfare of all persons in a society. Where marriage is honored, and where there is a flourishing marriage culture, everyone benefits—the spouses themselves, their children, the communities and societies in which they live. Where the marriage culture begins to erode, social pathologies of every sort quickly manifest themselves. Unfortunately, we have witnessed over the course of the past several decades a serious erosion of the marriage culture in our own country. Perhaps the most telling—and alarming—indicator is the out-of-wedlock birth rate. Less than fifty years ago, it was under 5 percent. Today it is over 40 percent. Our society—and particularly its poorest and most vulnerable sectors, where the out- of-wedlock birth rate is much higher even than the national average—is paying a huge price in delinquency, drug abuse, crime, incarceration, hopelessness, and despair. Other indicators are widespread non-marital sexual cohabitation and a devastatingly high rate of divorce.

We confess with sadness that Christians and our institutions have too often scandalously failed to uphold the institution of marriage and to model for the world the true meaning of marriage. Insofar as we have too easily embraced the culture of divorce and remained silent about social practices that undermine the dignity of marriage we repent, and call upon all Christians to do the same.

To strengthen families, we must stop glamorizing promiscuity and infidelity and restore among our people a sense of the profound beauty, mystery, and holiness of faithful marital love. We must reform ill-advised policies that contribute to the weakening of the institution of marriage, including the discredited idea of unilateral divorce. We must work in the legal, cultural, and religious domains to instill in young people a sound understanding of what marriage is, what it requires, and why it is worth the commitment and sacrifices that faithful spouses make.

The impulse to redefine marriage in order to recognize same-sex and multiple partner
relationships is a symptom, rather than the cause, of the erosion of the marriage culture. It
reflects a loss of understanding of the meaning of marriage as embodied in our civil and religious law and in the philosophical tradition that contributed to shaping the law. Yet it is critical that the impulse be resisted, for yielding to it would mean abandoning the possibility of restoring a sound understanding of marriage and, with it, the hope of rebuilding a healthy marriage culture. It would lock into place the false and destructive belief that marriage is all about romance and other adult satisfactions, and not, in any intrinsic way, about procreation and the unique character and value of acts and relationships whose meaning is shaped by their aptness for the generation, promotion and protection of life. In spousal communion and the rearing of children (who, as gifts of God, are the fruit of their parents’ marital love), we discover the profound reasons for and benefits of the marriage covenant.

We acknowledge that there are those who are disposed towards homosexual and polyamorous conduct and relationships, just as there are those who are disposed towards other forms of immoral conduct. We have compassion for those so disposed; we respect them as human beings possessing profound, inherent, and equal dignity; and we pay tribute to the men and women who strive, often with little assistance, to resist the temptation to yield to desires that they, no less than we, regard as wayward. We stand with them, even when they falter. We, no less than they, are sinners who have fallen short of God’s intention for our lives. We, no less than they, are in constant need of God’s patience, love and forgiveness. We call on the entire Christian community to resist sexual immorality, and at the same time refrain from disdainful condemnation of those who yield to it. Our rejection of sin, though resolute, must never become the rejection of sinners. For every sinner, regardless of the sin, is loved by God, who seeks not our destruction but rather the conversion of our hearts. Jesus calls all who wander from the path of virtue to “a more excellent way.” As his disciples we will reach out in love to assist all who hear the call and wish to answer it.

We further acknowledge that there are sincere people who disagree with us, and with the
teaching of the Bible and Christian tradition, on questions of sexual morality and the nature of marriage. Some who enter into same-sex and polyamorous relationships no doubt regard their unions as truly marital. They fail to understand, however, that marriage is made possible by the sexual complementarity of man and woman, and that the comprehensive, multi-level sharing of life that marriage is includes bodily unity of the sort that unites husband and wife biologically as a reproductive unit. This is because the body is no mere extrinsic instrument of the human person, but truly part of the personal reality of the human being. Human beings are not merely centers of consciousness or emotion, or minds, or spirits, inhabiting non-personal bodies. The human person is a dynamic unity of body, mind, and spirit. Marriage is what one man and one woman establish when, forsaking all others and pledging lifelong commitment, they found a sharing of life at every level of being—the biological, the emotional, the dispositional, the rational, the spiritual—
on a commitment that is sealed, completed and actualized by loving sexual intercourse in which the spouses become one flesh, not in some merely metaphorical sense, but by fulfilling together the behavioral conditions of procreation. That is why in the Christian tradition, and historically in Western law, consummated marriages are not dissoluble or annullable on the ground of infertility, even though the nature of the marital relationship is shaped and structured by its intrinsic orientation to the great good of procreation.

We understand that many of our fellow citizens, including some Christians, believe that the
historic definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman is a denial of equality or civil rights. They wonder what to say in reply to the argument that asserts that no harm would be done to them or to anyone if the law of the community were to confer upon two men or two women who are living together in a sexual partnership the status of being “married.” It would not, after all, affect their own marriages, would it? On inspection, however, the argument that laws governing one kind of marriage will not affect another cannot stand. Were it to prove anything, it would prove far too much: the assumption that the legal status of one set of marriage relationships affects no other would not only argue for same sex partnerships; it could be asserted with equal validity for polyamorous partnerships, polygamous households, even adult brothers, sisters, or brothers and sisters living in incestuous relationships. Should these, as a matter of equality or civil rights, be recognized as lawful marriages, and would they have no effects on other relationships? No. The truth is that marriage is not something abstract or neutral that the law may legitimately define and re-define to please those who are powerful and influential.

No one has a civil right to have a non-marital relationship treated as a marriage. Marriage is an objective reality—a covenantal union of husband and wife—that it is the duty of the law to
recognize and support for the sake of justice and the common good. If it fails to do so, genuine social harms follow. First, the religious liberty of those for whom this is a matter of conscience is jeopardized. Second, the rights of parents are abused as family life and sex education programs in schools are used to teach children that an enlightened understanding recognizes as “marriages” sexual partnerships that many parents believe are intrinsically non-marital and immoral. Third, the common good of civil society is damaged when the law itself, in its critical pedagogical function, becomes a tool for eroding a sound understanding of marriage on which the flourishing of the marriage culture in any society vitally depends. Sadly, we are today far from having a thriving marriage culture. But if we are to begin the critically important process of reforming our laws and mores to rebuild such a culture, the last thing we can afford to do is to re-define marriage in such a way as to embody in our laws a false proclamation about what marriage is.

And so it is out of love (not “animus”) and prudent concern for the common good (not “prejudice”), that we pledge to labor ceaselessly to preserve the legal definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman and to rebuild the marriage culture. How could we, as Christians, do otherwise? The Bible teaches us that marriage is a central part of God’s creation covenant. Indeed, the union of husband and wife mirrors the bond between Christ and his church. And so just as Christ was willing, out of love, to give Himself up for the church in a complete sacrifice, we are willing, lovingly, to make whatever sacrifices are required of us for the sake of the inestimable treasure that is marriage.

Religious Liberty
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. Isaiah 61:1

Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's. Matthew 22:21

The struggle for religious liberty across the centuries has been long and arduous, but it is not a novel idea or recent development. The nature of religious liberty is grounded in the character of God Himself, the God who is most fully known in the life and work of Jesus Christ. Determined to follow Jesus faithfully in life and death, the early Christians appealed to the manner in which the Incarnation had taken place: “Did God send Christ, as some suppose, as a tyrant brandishing fear and terror? Not so, but in gentleness and meekness..., for compulsion is no attribute of God” (Epistle to Diognetus 7.3-4). Thus the right to religious freedom has its foundation in the example of Christ Himself and in the very dignity of the human person created in the image of God—a dignity, as our founders proclaimed, inherent in every human, and knowable by all in the exercise of right reason.

Christians confess that God alone is Lord of the conscience. Immunity from religious coercion is the cornerstone of an unconstrained conscience. No one should be compelled to embrace any religion against his will, nor should persons of faith be forbidden to worship God according to the dictates of conscience or to express freely and publicly their deeply held religious convictions. What is true for individuals applies to religious communities as well.

It is ironic that those who today assert a right to kill the unborn, aged and disabled and also a right to engage in immoral sexual practices, and even a right to have relationships integrated around these practices be recognized and blessed by law—such persons claiming these “rights” are very often in the vanguard of those who would trample upon the freedom of others to express their religious and moral commitments to the sanctity of life and to the dignity of marriage as the conjugal union of husband and wife.

We see this, for example, in the effort to weaken or eliminate conscience clauses, and therefore to compel pro-life institutions (including religiously affiliated hospitals and clinics), and pro-life physicians, surgeons, nurses, and other health care professionals, to refer for abortions and, in certain cases, even to perform or participate in abortions. We see it in the use of anti- discrimination statutes to force religious institutions, businesses, and service providers of various sorts to comply with activities they judge to be deeply immoral or go out of business. After the judicial imposition of “same-sex marriage” in Massachusetts, for example, Catholic Charities chose with great reluctance to end its century-long work of helping to place orphaned children in good homes rather than comply with a legal mandate that it place children in same-sex households in violation of Catholic moral teaching. In New Jersey, after the establishment of a quasi-marital “civil unions” scheme, a Methodist institution was stripped of its tax exempt status when it declined, as a matter of religious conscience, to permit a facility it owned and operated to be used for ceremonies blessing homosexual unions. In Canada and some European nations, Christian clergy have been prosecuted for preaching Biblical norms against the practice of homosexuality. New hate-crime laws in America raise the specter of the same practice here.

In recent decades a growing body of case law has paralleled the decline in respect for religious values in the media, the academy and political leadership, resulting in restrictions on the free exercise of religion. We view this as an ominous development, not only because of its threat to the individual liberty guaranteed to every person, regardless of his or her faith, but because the trend also threatens the common welfare and the culture of freedom on which our system of republican government is founded. Restrictions on the freedom of conscience or the ability to hire people of one’s own faith or conscientious moral convictions for religious institutions, for example, undermines the viability of the intermediate structures of society, the essential buffer against the overweening authority of the state, resulting in the soft despotism Tocqueville so prophetically warned of.1 Disintegration of civil society is a prelude to tyranny.

As Christians, we take seriously the Biblical admonition to respect and obey those in authority. We believe in law and in the rule of law. We recognize the duty to comply with laws whether we happen to like them or not, unless the laws are gravely unjust or require those subject to them to do something unjust or otherwise immoral. The biblical purpose of law is to preserve order and serve justice and the common good; yet laws that are unjust—and especially laws that purport to compel citizens to do what is unjust—undermine the common good, rather than serve it.

Going back to the earliest days of the church, Christians have refused to compromise their
proclamation of the gospel. In Acts 4, Peter and John were ordered to stop preaching. Their
answer was, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” Through the centuries, Christianity has taught that civil disobedience is not only permitted, but sometimes required. There is no more eloquent defense of the rights and duties of religious conscience than the one offered by Martin Luther King, Jr., in his Letter from a Birmingham Jail. Writing from an explicitly Christian perspective, and citing Christian writers such as Augustine and Aquinas, King taught that just laws elevate and ennoble human beings because they are rooted in the moral law whose ultimate source is God Himself. Unjust laws degrade human beings. Inasmuch as they can claim no authority beyond sheer human will, they lack any power to bind in conscience. King’s willingness to go to jail, rather than comply with legal injustice, was exemplary and inspiring.

Because we honor justice and the common good, we will not comply with any edict that purports to compel our institutions to participate in abortions, embryo-destructive research, assisted suicide and euthanasia, or any other anti-life act; nor will we bend to any rule purporting to force us to bless immoral sexual partnerships, treat them as marriages or the equivalent, or refrain from proclaiming the truth, as we know it, about morality and immorality and marriage and the family. We will fully and ungrudgingly render to Caesar what is Caesar’s. But under no circumstances will we render to Caesar what is God’s.

Drafting Committee

Robert George Professor, McCormick Professor of Jurisprudence,
Princeton University
Timothy George Professor, Beeson Divinity School, Samford
University
Chuck Colson Founder, the Chuck Colson Center for Christian Worldview
(Lansdowne, VA)

1
Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America