Why am I a Christian?

Some people may wonder, “why am I a Christian?” I’ve never been specifically asked that question myself, but I’m sure people may have wondered it about me.

I grew up in church my whole life, but that doesn’t mean I had an easy spiritual journey. Being a Christian is hard because it requires you to be like Christ, and that is not an easy task. Only one human was able to attain perfection and that was Jesus, so what chance do I or anyone else have? There is no chance at perfection, but I strive to be my best in order to please God.

But why do I want to please God so much?

Because I have seen what God has done in my life and what he has done in others’ lives. I have seen people healed of cancer and other life-threatening illnesses. And I’m not just talking “oh, this person went for chemo and now the cancer is gone, Praise God!” While yes, I’ve seen that too, what I’m talking about is I know specific people where doctors will tell them they only have months to live or they have an incurable disease or illness but through prayer (and sometimes through miracles), I’ve seen these people healed. What was once there is no longer there. I know of doctors that have been totally stumped as to how it happened.

I personally know people that have been cured of cancer, hepatitis B, and severe drug-addiction among other things. I’ve seen broken families restored, as well as God provide financial or physical resources to those who desperately needed it.

But don’t get me wrong. Being a Christian is not like finding a genie’s lamp, where if you have a problem you can just pray and wish it gone. Many times people turn to God only because they really want/need something. They’ll come calling like “Oh God, I’m months behind on my bills, I’m in danger of being homeless, please help me find a way to pay!” or “Lord, I just got a bad report from the doctor, I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle this. Heal me God!” And sometimes God will answer these prayers and sometimes God won’t. And many times I’ve seen God not answer these prayers and then the person will get all upset and mad with God. “God, why didn’t you help me! I came pleading to you! Why have you forsaken me?” And they may even take it out on Christians- “you’ve got a fake God. If your God was so loving, he would have helped me when I really needed it. Where was he then? You’re a fool for believing.”

And hearing these kinds of things makes me very sad, but also kind of angry. Just so you know- God doesn’t HAVE to answer anybody’s prayers. NONE of us deserve it! We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. However, God is a loving God that is filled with both mercy and grace. God may not always give us everything we want, but God can provide everything we need. It may not always be by the easy path though, and sometimes people mistake that for God not answering prayer, b/c he didn’t do it exactly as how they wanted it.

But think of it this way. Let’s say you’re not a Christian, or you believe in God in God but may not have a close relationship with Him. You ask God for something (like the above examples for financial relief or healing). If God were to answer your prayer, how would YOU react to it? Would you give the glory to God? Would you tell everyone you see- “God did this for me! It’s all due to Him. I thank Him for his blessings!” Some people might, but many people would not. But let’s say you did give praise to God- okay, great. That’s one thing, but that’s temporary. If you go on living your life as you had been, are you really grateful to him? That’s the equivalent of teenagers that make a mess of the house and never clean up after themselves despite being told all the time to do so and disrespect their parents by also giving them an attitude. But all of a sudden, they get sick, and now they need mom and dad. So mom and dad take care of the teenager. They nurse them back to health and may even spoil them a little to make them feel extra good. And once that teenager is better, he/she may say “thanks mom and dad! You were really there for me.” And the parents will be happy to be appreciated. Things may go well for the next few days or weeks, as everyone is still on that “high” from that bond that was created during that time of “struggle” and “deliverance.” But as time passes, that may fade, and if the teenager goes back to their old ways of making a mess of their house and disrespecting their parents again- are they showing true love and gratitude for what was done for them?

No! The way to show true love and gratitude for what has been done for you is by doing the right thing and living it everyday. For the example above- in order for that teenager to show they grateful for what their parents have done, then they must do as their parents tell them to do and not disrespect them anymore. That would mean more to the parents than a simple “thank you.”

Well it’s the same with God! If God does something for you, then thank him! But don’t just do it with mere words. You need to do it by your actions as well! Give God what he wants from you. He doesn’t ask for much. All he asks is that you honor, respect and love him above all other things. And that’s actually pretty easy, considering we have a lot of stuff that we tend to put ahead of God in our lives (ie. Television, sports, hobbies, even relationships and work).

But going back to my main point- if you think about it, maybe the reason God didn’t answer your prayer is b/c he knows your heart. God knows what we’re thinking and what we’re going to do. So He will see that you won’t be giving the glory for what He has done for you to Him, so why should he answer that prayer for you? It could just be that He knows that you need to continue to go through this trial in order to be fully broken down to the point where you will eventually turn to him.

Now some may balk at that concept and say “what kind of a ‘loving’ God is that? He should love us and help us no matter what because we’re supposedly made in his image! What kind of God would let us go through trials in order to force us to serve him??”

To respond to that- God does help many people that may not “deserve” it. Just to show His love for that person, and maybe one day that person may look back and say “wow, in times of great struggle and need, God really pulled through for me… and how have I repaid him? Maybe it’s time for me to change my ways.” But then again, maybe that person won’t say that, and will die without ever honoring God. That is an example of God’s grace- giving us something that not only we do not deserve but not even being grateful for it either. Now THAT is a Loving God! And in terms of the trials we may go through, God isn’t trying to test you or force you to come to him. If we look at our circumstances, many times it is our own doings that got us into the positions we are in. God gives us free will to make our own choices, and sometimes that includes allowing us to make our own mistakes and suffer the consequences. As for things that seem to come up out of nowhere like some illnesses, maybe God has allowed that to enter your life as a tool to bring you and your loved ones closer to him. He’s not forcing you into a relationship with him, you can live life on your own terms if you like. But doing it on your own is the harder road, and you won’t experience the peace that God gives, which is so unlike the peace that you may experience in the world.

So this ties back into the original question I asked at the beginning- “why am I a Christian?”

I’ve seen God move in people’s lives and felt his presence not only in church congregations but on my own as well. I have just seen and experienced so much not only through those around me but first-hand as well, that there is NO way that I can deny that God is real.

For example, many of you know what I went through in 2007. It was the biggest rollercoaster year of my life with some of the biggest joys but also biggest sadness and trials I have ever experienced. The year started with Ariana and I planning our wedding and deciding to purchase a co-op apartment. Either of these things can be nerve-racking experiences as I know many of you are aware of. There is just so much paperwork, planning and details to go through with both that they can be huge stressors.

So I had those two big projects on my plate, on top of my graduate schoolwork that I was already in the middle of, and then at the end of March of 2007, tragedy struck my family as my dad experienced many strokes in the middle of a heart operation, which left him with severe brain damage and clinging to life.

This just rocked my world, as this happened in a hospital in Connecticut. I had to go and see him in his condition, and then fight for a month to get him transferred down to the Bronx, all the while thinking of him lying in that bed mostly all alone. My dad held on for five months, and those were some of the most difficult months of my life. The wedding planning had kicked into full gear, we got the apartment at the end of June, but now we also had to squeeze in time for renovations before we got married and moved in in October, that and I had to take incompletes in my two classes, as I was unable to fully concentrate on my schoolwork with everything going on.

These are trials that individually could have sent a person into a downward spiral of depression and anxiety. And “little” things just kept popping up that would have driven most people mad. Renovations on the apartment were way behind schedule and starting to go over budget, Ariana had to move out of her apartment the week before the wedding, my dad passed away without a will or specified beneficiaries for certain things, forcing us to begin clearing out HIS apartment as well and get legal services to become an administrator of his estate, I was back in school with a really tough semester ahead, some members of Ariana’s family that were supposed to be a part of the wedding party created some over the top drama causing a huge rift in her family, where many members didn’t even attend the wedding… seriously, if it could have happened, it did during those months surrounding our wedding, lol. And while yes, these times were difficult, I have to say that I experienced a peace the entire time that I just couldn’t explain to you back then. I was able to smile and laugh at that time not because of some coping mechanism where I was hiding my pain. But I just fully had a sense of peace that I knew everything was going to work out and be alright b/c I trusted God and knew it didn’t make sense to worry or get depressed. And all of this was in the face of situations where it could be expected I should feel otherwise! What I’ve learned since that time is that God’s peace is different than the peace that the world offers. The most essential distinction I’ve seen is that God’s peace is not circumstantial. When Jesus spoke of his peace he said “Not as the world gives, do I give to you” (John 14:27). The peace of the world is dictated only and always by circumstances. God’s peace may not always be logical, but that doesn’t always mean that God’s peace is illogical, it just goes beyond mere human logic. Man’s logic fails to factor in the power and sovereignty of God.

Jesus goes onto say in John 14 “…let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” The fact that Jesus states for us to not allow our hearts to be troubled or fearful is an acknowledgement that there is a choice involved. The world determines how to feel by what happens to them. The Christian, however, determines how to feel by his/her relationship with God. We are not to give in to the temptation to be troubled or fearful when circumstances do not go the way we desire. In a nutshell, God’s peace is the absence of a troubled heart. We may not always get what we request, but we will always have the peace that it is in God’s hands, not ours.

Now I prayed for many things during that time of my life, and some of my prayers were answered but others obviously were not. I was grateful to God for the prayers he answered and was not mad at God for the prayers he did not answer. This was during a time, that while I was going to church, I still wasn’t living as I knew I should have been. But b/c of God’s grace He still worked in my life, b/c He knew the effect it would have on me. I understood that everything happened in its own way for its own reason. I didn’t understand the exact reasons behind everything then, but as time has passed I can look back and see how God helped me grow, showed me who were my true family and friends, provided for me both financially and physically, and everything HAS turned out well in the end. Were there some trials I would have preferred to not have gone through? Of course, but God knew what I needed in my life.

And I see so many of my friends and family struggling right now with so many different things- broken relationships, substance abuse, sickness, job-related stress, financial stress, sexual pressures, etc. People are looking for peace but aren’t finding it and it hurts me so much, b/c I know the answer but not everyone wants to listen to it. I hope what I’ve shown you today is evidence enough for how God can work in people’s lives and that God loves you and only wants the best for you.

If you’d like to get to know God better, or just talk about things I’d be more than happy to talk and pray with you, just contact me anyway you prefer (phone, e-mail, IM, text, etc). Hope to speak with you soon! I leave you with this verse:

Romans 1:5- “And now through Christ, all kindness [grace] of God has been poured out upon us undeserving sinners; and now he is sending us out around the world to tell all people everywhere the great things God has done for them, so that they, too, will believe and obey him.”