Guilt & Shame
[Originally posted May 20, 2010]
Guilt & shame are two of some of the emotions people least like to feel. Don’t you hate feeling guilty? Don’t you feel so small and so low when you feel shame? People go to great lengths to avoid feeling these emotions.
However, sometimes people need to feel these emotions in order to correct their actions and set them back on the right path (just like when we were kids and our parents scolded us when we did something wrong. We felt bad, but it helped us to grow into better people).
You have people going out and living their lives in a way that goes against God’s will, even fellow supposed “Christians” who not only try to justify their actions, but also take pride in their sin. Pride can become a dangerous weapon and anyone should be careful how he or she handles it. The Bible speaks against having pride for many reasons- one such reason is that it makes people feel that they themselves have the power, and their life circumstances are all b/c of their own doing. This is not true. While God does give us free will, he can choose to bless or not bless every action that we do. That is why we must always glorify God for our accomplishments because without God’s blessing, it would not be so.
So people begin to take pride & ownership of the sins they commit, because if they are proud of it, then it gives them the power and lessens (and tries to limit) the guilt and shame they’d feel for the sin. It’s hard to go up to someone and tell them what they did (or are doing) is wrong if they are proud of what they have done, isn’t it?
Pride is a tool of Satan. Does that mean you can never feel a sense of accomplishment? No, of course not. For instance, I myself am graduating with my Masters degree in a week. I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment and a certain amount of pride. However, I know this accomplishment is due to the Lord’s help. I went through a lot of tough times while trying to earn this degree and God helped me through all of them. So I know I could not have done it alone and so I give God the glory.
But there is a difference between that and having pride and taking ownership over sin. Some people boast of their sexual activity- talking about how many people they’ve slept with, proud to be baby-mama’s- justifying their actions by saying things like “it’s my body, I’ll do what I want.” “There’s nothing wrong with what I do!” And they always follow it with the Maury or Jerry Springer favorite- “Don’t judge me!”
This phrase is a sinner’s favorite phrase to throw in someone’s face that doesn’t agree with what they do. People especially like to say it to Christians. They take scriptures out of context all like “the Bible says not to judge people! That’s for God to do, not you!”
And yes, the Bible does say not to judge. However, judging and correcting are two different things. Christians are to always love and not judge but 2 Timothy 4:2 states “preach the word of God urgently at all times, whenever you get the chance, in season and out, when it is convenient and when it is not. Correct and rebuke your people when they need it, encourage them to do right, and all the time be feeding them patiently with God’s word.”
This means Christians shouldn’t judge you, but it IS okay to correct you/tell you what you are doing is wrong, as long as it’s done in love.
Look at the example of Jesus in John 8: 1-11, where the people brought before him a woman that was caught in the act of adultery. They wanted to trap Jesus into judging & punishing her. But instead he said, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Everyone at this point felt guilt and shame and couldn’t bring themselves to do it and they walked away. Then Jesus stated to the woman “where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, sir.” She said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Now go and sin no more.”
This clearly illustrates that Jesus did not judge the woman, but both he and the woman knew what she did was wrong and he corrected her by basically telling her to change her ways. Did this woman experience guilt and shame after Jesus told her this? The Bible doesn’t specifically say, but I’m sure she did because if she had not, what Jesus did for her would not have had as much impact.
Like I said before- people HATE being told they are wrong and can’t stand feeling guilt or shame. But Christians are called to go out and correct and save the world by leading them to Christ.
The issue comes when it is not done out of love or through love. Christians can’t go up to a woman who has had a baby out of wedlock and call her a “sl*t.” Nor should they go up to a gay male and call him a “f*g.” What does that accomplish? That is not what Jesus would have done.
You also can’t be caught in your own sin and expect to be taken seriously when you try to correct others. For example, you can’t tell someone who is using pot (or other drugs) that they are sinning and should stop, if you are co-habitating with your partner before marriage. Instead of feeling guilt or shame, the person will look for something else to focus on and will just look at your life and say “he/she is telling me I’m doing wrong, but technically so are they! What right does this person have to tell me I’m sinning?”
In the end, that is not an excuse either (although it is a very common one). Guilt and shame are not fun to experience but they exist for a reason. They can help you (in moderate doses, to a degree) grow in character and become a better person. Because if you continue to live in sin (whether you want to believe it is sin or not) then you will never find the true happiness and peace you are looking for in life. If you are sinning and continue to take pride in what you’re doing, then you can’t be surprised when things in life don’t go your way. I see it all the time, people being proud of their sin, but then having a bunch of problems in their lives and complaining about how hard their life is. It is not a coincidence that this is occurring. It’s part of the price you pay when you sin. If you eliminate the parts of your life that cause you to sin, it will put you on the path to experience the peace and happiness you are looking for. But this will only happen if you take ownership of your sin and don’t let your sin “own” you.
I love you all, and hope those who need it take this message to heart. God Bless!
Guilt & shame are two of some of the emotions people least like to feel. Don’t you hate feeling guilty? Don’t you feel so small and so low when you feel shame? People go to great lengths to avoid feeling these emotions.
However, sometimes people need to feel these emotions in order to correct their actions and set them back on the right path (just like when we were kids and our parents scolded us when we did something wrong. We felt bad, but it helped us to grow into better people).
You have people going out and living their lives in a way that goes against God’s will, even fellow supposed “Christians” who not only try to justify their actions, but also take pride in their sin. Pride can become a dangerous weapon and anyone should be careful how he or she handles it. The Bible speaks against having pride for many reasons- one such reason is that it makes people feel that they themselves have the power, and their life circumstances are all b/c of their own doing. This is not true. While God does give us free will, he can choose to bless or not bless every action that we do. That is why we must always glorify God for our accomplishments because without God’s blessing, it would not be so.
So people begin to take pride & ownership of the sins they commit, because if they are proud of it, then it gives them the power and lessens (and tries to limit) the guilt and shame they’d feel for the sin. It’s hard to go up to someone and tell them what they did (or are doing) is wrong if they are proud of what they have done, isn’t it?
Pride is a tool of Satan. Does that mean you can never feel a sense of accomplishment? No, of course not. For instance, I myself am graduating with my Masters degree in a week. I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment and a certain amount of pride. However, I know this accomplishment is due to the Lord’s help. I went through a lot of tough times while trying to earn this degree and God helped me through all of them. So I know I could not have done it alone and so I give God the glory.
But there is a difference between that and having pride and taking ownership over sin. Some people boast of their sexual activity- talking about how many people they’ve slept with, proud to be baby-mama’s- justifying their actions by saying things like “it’s my body, I’ll do what I want.” “There’s nothing wrong with what I do!” And they always follow it with the Maury or Jerry Springer favorite- “Don’t judge me!”
This phrase is a sinner’s favorite phrase to throw in someone’s face that doesn’t agree with what they do. People especially like to say it to Christians. They take scriptures out of context all like “the Bible says not to judge people! That’s for God to do, not you!”
And yes, the Bible does say not to judge. However, judging and correcting are two different things. Christians are to always love and not judge but 2 Timothy 4:2 states “preach the word of God urgently at all times, whenever you get the chance, in season and out, when it is convenient and when it is not. Correct and rebuke your people when they need it, encourage them to do right, and all the time be feeding them patiently with God’s word.”
This means Christians shouldn’t judge you, but it IS okay to correct you/tell you what you are doing is wrong, as long as it’s done in love.
Look at the example of Jesus in John 8: 1-11, where the people brought before him a woman that was caught in the act of adultery. They wanted to trap Jesus into judging & punishing her. But instead he said, “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Everyone at this point felt guilt and shame and couldn’t bring themselves to do it and they walked away. Then Jesus stated to the woman “where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, sir.” She said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Now go and sin no more.”
This clearly illustrates that Jesus did not judge the woman, but both he and the woman knew what she did was wrong and he corrected her by basically telling her to change her ways. Did this woman experience guilt and shame after Jesus told her this? The Bible doesn’t specifically say, but I’m sure she did because if she had not, what Jesus did for her would not have had as much impact.
Like I said before- people HATE being told they are wrong and can’t stand feeling guilt or shame. But Christians are called to go out and correct and save the world by leading them to Christ.
The issue comes when it is not done out of love or through love. Christians can’t go up to a woman who has had a baby out of wedlock and call her a “sl*t.” Nor should they go up to a gay male and call him a “f*g.” What does that accomplish? That is not what Jesus would have done.
You also can’t be caught in your own sin and expect to be taken seriously when you try to correct others. For example, you can’t tell someone who is using pot (or other drugs) that they are sinning and should stop, if you are co-habitating with your partner before marriage. Instead of feeling guilt or shame, the person will look for something else to focus on and will just look at your life and say “he/she is telling me I’m doing wrong, but technically so are they! What right does this person have to tell me I’m sinning?”
In the end, that is not an excuse either (although it is a very common one). Guilt and shame are not fun to experience but they exist for a reason. They can help you (in moderate doses, to a degree) grow in character and become a better person. Because if you continue to live in sin (whether you want to believe it is sin or not) then you will never find the true happiness and peace you are looking for in life. If you are sinning and continue to take pride in what you’re doing, then you can’t be surprised when things in life don’t go your way. I see it all the time, people being proud of their sin, but then having a bunch of problems in their lives and complaining about how hard their life is. It is not a coincidence that this is occurring. It’s part of the price you pay when you sin. If you eliminate the parts of your life that cause you to sin, it will put you on the path to experience the peace and happiness you are looking for. But this will only happen if you take ownership of your sin and don’t let your sin “own” you.
I love you all, and hope those who need it take this message to heart. God Bless!
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