A message to all my family, loved ones, friends and acquaintances

I've had a lot of time to think this week. Mostly about my dad and what happened to him (and by consequence, to my family), but about a few other things as well.

My dad's situation made me think of how sudden bad things can happen to a person. It made me think of what almost happened to Jordan nearly two months ago. He was nearly killed for no good reason whatsoever. But due to some quick thinking on his part (and in my belief- an angel watching over him), he is okay.

Then shortly after that incident, my friend Joey D was hit by a car while crossing the street to his job. By all accounts he should be dead, but he survived without even suffering a broken bone. That one I completely chalk up to God watching over him.

And of course, I think about my dad. He wasn't so lucky. But I'm not mad at God for that. My dad had high blood pressure and diabetes and he didn't take care of himself. He had a heart attack before, so he had gotten the scare that would set most people straight, but he still didn't eat right. It made me think of this old Christian joke:

-A man is in his home, when he hears a great flood is headed for his town. The people in his town evacuate, but he refuses to leave. He proclaims "I have faith that my God will protect me and save me."

The flood comes and the water level forces the man to move up to the second floor of his home. Some people come by in a rowboat offering to rescue him, but the man refuses the offer and proclaims "There is no need to run. I have faith that my God will protect and save me."

The flood levels continue to rise, so a second rowboat comes by. This time the people on board plead with him even more, but the man once again states "There is no need for me to leave. I have faith that my God will protect and save me."

The water continues to rise to the point where the man is forced to stay on the roof of his home. Finally a helicopter comes by to rescue the man but he once again refuses and states "There is no need for me to leave. I believe that my God will protect and save me."

The water level continues to rise, and the man winds up drowning. Once the man is in heaven, he goes up to God and asks him "Why did you let me die? I had faith that you would protect and save me! Why didn't you do anything to help me?"

God replied "I sent you two rowboats and a helicopter. What more did you want from me?"

****
My dad had plenty of chances to help himself, and he had all his family and friends warning him to eat right and take care of himself better. But he didn't listen, so I can't blame God for what happened to him.

But the situation still sucks. Especially b/c my dad was too, I dunno, macho I guess? to sign any papers, like a living will. Or at least something giving us power of attorney or a healthcare proxy.

It just leads me to think about both what we want not only for ourselves, but what are we leaving behind for our families to deal with if we were to suddenly go?

If something were to happen to you tomorrow, are your affairs in order? Are your family's? It's something that may be uncomfortable to speak about with your loved ones, but trust me, it's something you all definitely should b/c I wouldn't want any of you to go through anything like I've had to go through with my dad.

And you're never too young to start thinking about this kind of stuff for yourself either. You can never assume that everyone in your family will agree with the "best option." Some of you are in long-term relationships, and if something were to happen to you, right now your family would handle your affairs. But what if your significant other knew your wishes better than your own family? A battle could erupt between everyone who cares for you, and I'm pretty sure that isn't the kind of legacy you would want to leave behind.

And let me not even get into the whole issue when it comes to property... Greed can be a horrible thing, and it can turn even the nicest of people into nasty creatures.

But let me not get too morbid. Or even too caught up in what you would leave behind. But think about your family, loved ones, friends, and even acquaintances. Have you told all the people you care about that you love them?

I feel that you should. You also shouldn't stay mad at someone you love, b/c you wouldn't want that horrible guilty feeling if they left this earth before you could tell them how much they mean to you.

That almost happened with my sister and my dad. They had been estranged for the last few years, and it was for a really stupid reason. But both of them were too stubborn to apologize to the other. Luckily, I was able to play the middle man between them, and help them both realize there was not one good reason to not be speaking to one another anymore. And I'm sure they were regretting having spent all that time away from each other. So at Thanksgiving, I forced my sister to call my dad, and they finally made up. And I knew they were both very happy about that.

So when my sister went to see my dad last week, it hit her hard. And she said to him (and I was in the room as well), that she was so grateful that I made her call him so they could make up, b/c if I hadn't she wouldn't have had the opportunity to tell him before this incident (after he was in a coma) how much she loved him, and that she so happy they had been on speaking terms again before this tragedy happened.

I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone that I care about. That's why I'm such an easy-going guy. I'm not gonna hold grudges and speak ill of people. It makes no sense. Life is too short for that garbage. And I would encourage you all to take a similar approach to life.

I'm not telling anyone to be like me. Nope, I follow the teachings of God and Jesus. And while none of us could ever hope to be as good as he, we can do our best. And I'm not gonna brow-beat anyone right now with his teachings and say you should all become Christians. I mean, in my prayers I hope that you all do form a real relationship with God, and live a good and justly life; but I also know I'm far from perfect. And at this point in my life I don't know if I can truly say I'm a great example of what a Christian should be. I'm working on it though, and I hope to make God proud with the things that I both say and do.

But as I said, right now I just wanted to give my advice to everyone. Have the conversations you need to with your families. I know it'll probably be awkward and hard emotionally, but better it be done now than after someone is gone. And I mean this both for relationships between people as well as healthcare and property issues.

Once again, I want to let you all know that I care for and love you all. I have the greatest group of friends in the world. You have all come through for me and been here for me & my family in our time of need, and these thoughts I've shared are just one of the things I could think of to try to pay you all back (and yes, I'm aware I don't need to "pay anybody back" but I felt this stuff was important to share regardless).

Feel free to reply to me with any feelings you have about what I've said. And if anyone wants to talk about any spiritual matters, that's great as well. As I said, one of my prayers is that you all find what you are looking for, and I know for a fact that some of you are in the process of searching for something. You may not know what that something is, but I am here as an open ear, and I won't judge, nor will I force any of my beliefs down your throat. I'll share my beliefs, but in the end it's a decision you all have to make for yourselves.

And well, I guess I got a little more preachy there than I intended but all this stuff was on my heart for a reason. Maybe one of you out there really needed to hear/read something that was said in this message. And if so, I hope it helped.

God Bless everyone!