When it rains, it pours...

And by the look of the weather outside, I mean that title quite literally.

Man, what a week I've had! I've still been dealing with issues with my dad's transfer, which have been a pain. The one bright spot is that I sent out an e-mail to all my dad's friends & co-workers who have been e-mailing me about him, updating them all on the hell I am going through and now a lot of them are helping me out by calling different hospitals, gov't officials, etc to see if any of them can assist in the transfer process.

In the end, we were sort of forced to decide to have a trachestomy performed on my dad as well as have them insert a PEG (a feeding tube into his stomach). That surgery is actually schedueled for this morning, so I'm praying that goes well.

Then he'll have the weekend to recover, and as of Monday, the doctors/hospitals in NY will no longer have the excuse that he is too much of a risk to move/accept due to him being intubated anymore. The trache is much safer, so now the problem should ONLY be finding a bed. One good thing though is with the trache being put in, he might be able to be moved to a step down below the ICU level, and thus give us more flexibility in finding a bed (since generally ICU beds are very limited). And with my dad's friends helping me out, we should be able to get one. So keep your prayers going about that.

It's still been rough b/c there has been no change in his condition, so that's something still looming on the horizon, but getting him to NY to be with all his family, loved ones and friends will definitely be a good thing.

Other issues I've had to deal with this week, were: 1) speaking with my professors to get an incomplete for the semester, b/c with everything going on, I have not been able to concentrate on my work and do my 2 term papers, or study for exams; 2) I pulled a bone-headed move and I wound up going WAY over my minutes of my cell-phone plan this month. I got the bill on Sunday night and it was huge! Thing is, I didn't get why at first. But then I realized it was b/c I have been using my cell for pretty much all my calls- even though I was home and could have used my house-line!

It sucks, b/c my mind has been so out of it lately that it didn't even dawn on me to use the house phone. I never even come close to using my minutes on any usual month, so it's never been an issue for me, but boy was I about to learn the hard way. So I had to deal with that on Monday, but luckily I got a really nice operator at Verizon, and she wound up bumping me up to the $79.99 plan and pro-rating me, which eliminated the majority of the bill. So thank God for small favors.

I just realized that I am in danger of going over this month as well though. As of this morning I was already at 408 minutes (my plan is for 450), and that's til May 15th. So I tried calling Verizon to bump up my plan to either the 900 or 1300 minute plan, and the person I got wasn't that big of a help at first.

Apparently Verizon's policy is really weird when you want to change your plan in the middle of a cycle.

I had been told on Monday when I got my credit that I was in danger of going over my minutes this month, and that I could bump up my plan just for the one month. She said I could make my decision on Wed, when she was supposed to call me back to tell me the exact amount of my credit (b/c they didn't have it for me right away).

The lady never called on Wed though, but I figured that I really needed to increase it or else I was gonna run into the same problem. So I call and tell the operator what the lady told me the other day. The operator said if I increase my plan I have to extend my contract, which I wasn't thrilled about, but since I have no immediate plans to change companies I was willing to accept. The issues came when trying to work out the minutes and pro-rating.

This is how the lady broke it down to me: basically, the higher plan could NOT be prorated back to the beginning of the cycle (April 16th), so what would happen is these 12 days or so would be covered under the 450 minute plan. The problem with that, is b/c it's only 12 days, that is prorated as well so I would only be covered for 174 minutes (out of the 450). But I had already used 408, which puts me 239 over (yes I realize that does not add up exactly but these are the numbers they gave me, lol). So the 900 minute plan would only cover from today on (and not the "extra 239 minutes), meaning I would HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL THOSE MINUTES OUT OF POCKET (which would come out to over $100, b/c it's like .45 cents a minute).

This made absolutely no sense to me! I was like "the point of me changing the plan is to cover the extra minutes. I haven't gone over my 450 yet, so changing to the 900 plan should cover ALL I've called to the moment (the 408), and give me an extra 492 minutes to work with!"

But apparently, that is not how it goes. I was getting frustrated with this lady, b/c this wasn't what the other woman had told me a few days before. So I wound up not changing my plan.

****

The update to that story is, I was called back by the Verizon operator shortly after I hung up. I was on the phone with the doctors at the moment, so I didn't take the call, but the voice message stated that what she could do is change the plan, and then just re-work the NEXT bill to eliminate the charges for those "uncovered" minutes. I tried calling her back to confirm (since she said she needed my permission since it extends the contract), but it went to her voicemail. So we'll see how that all turns out.

But just in case things don't come together for me, unless you have Verizon (where I have the "IN" plan), don't call my cell before 9pm on weekdays. You can catch me either in my office or at my house (just e-mail me if you need any of those numbers). I do have free weekends though, so I'm good in that aspect at least (I also have up to 250 text messages, so that can be done as well).

I'll update everyone again just in case things change.

****

And oh just wait til you hear about the crap I went through this morning!!!

Right now, I'm actually supposed to be on a college trip with my job to Yale University in CT. But here's what happened:

We were supposed to meet at Mount Vernon HS around 7:45-8am. I was running a little behind, b/c the doctors called me early this morning to give me some last minute info on my dad's operations today. So I left my house around 7:45am. But i figured, "hey, it's only a 15 minute ride anyways, I'll be fine."

So I hop on the Bronx River and almost immediately I run into pretty crazy traffic. At first I assume it was an accident. So I flip on 1010 WINS on the radio to hear the traffic report and they are saying that many of the parkways are flooded!

This surprised me, b/c it wasn't raining at the moment. I knew it rained last night, but I just didn't know much! But apparently it was really bad b/c I was LITERALLY on the Bronx River Pkwy stuck between Gun Hill Rd and E. 233rd for over an HOUR (for those of you who don't know the area, that is just ONE exit). And everyone was forced to exit at 233rd, b/c it was flooded beyond that point. Meaning they had to squeeze 3 lanes of traffic into a one lane exit- not fun!

So yeah, that was pretty annoying. I wound up missing the trip, b/c I didn't get off the Parkway and onto the side road until after 9am, and obviously most of the traffic was going that way as well, so it probably still would have taken an extra 20-30 mins to get to Mt. Vernon High School, so they had to leave without me.

The fact I got left behind doesn't really bother me too much (saves me from being in a long bus ride in crappy weather) but it was still a hassle to deal with, b/c I then had to turn around and deal with traffic to come into the office at Fordham).

So, it has been quite a morning to say the least...

And the frustrations continue to mount

I'm just so freakin stressed right now. Things are going nuts with my dad's transfer, and I'm trying to do stuff but half the people are telling me I can't do anything b/c it has to be done through the doctors not through me. But my dad's PCP is apparently out for the WEEK with an emergency, and they are trying to tell me that nothing can be done til he gets back. I'm trying to go around this, and get someone to take over emergency care for dad, but it's a lot of bureaucracy. They said the guy who might be able to help me (some administrator) is in a meeting right now, so they'll have him call me when the meeting is over, but in the meantime I'm just sitting here freaking out, b/c I know that if things don't happen soon, I'm gonna be forced to make decisions about my dad's care while he's up there and that's something I do not want to do (and shouldn't have to).

The one possible light at the end of the tunnel, is that one of my dad's friends/co-workers said that he knows someone who might be able to hook us up with a board member at Montefiore that knows dad and may be able to get things done. I don't know how long that will take though, but i'm hoping they call me back today.

It sucks, b/c if I knew all these issues were going on, I would have acted sooner, but they made it sound like everything was going smoothly and we were just waiting for a bed. Now I have to deal with all this craziness, and part of me just wants to call every single person I know to help, but on the other hand, I know there is a sort of process to take here. But with the time crunch, it's like "How much time do I wait for things to get done, before I try something else?" Especially considering, it's been 2 weeks, and I lost so much time.

I really just don't even know where to begin or what I even CAN do, since as I've said it's mostly bureaucracy, so there are certain things I can't do (I've already been shut down with a few places I've called all like "you can't do anything, this needs to be doctor to doctor"). The lady in patient relations at Montefiore told me that one thing I MIGHT be able to do is speak with my family and that if any of us have a doctor we trust and are close with, to ask if maybe they can take over care for my dad and be the one to help place him in a hospital. I personally don't know if that will work, especially b/c of issues with his insurance (he has HIP Prime, which generally makes everything go through the PCP first) but we're hoping that in this emergency case things can be done differently. It's a long shot, but at this point I'm desperate. I just hate having to get on the phone and explaining the situation over and over and over again, only to be told "sorry we can't help you."

It's just beyond frustrating...

So yeah I just needed to vent. And also, if anyone reading this has any suggestions you might be able to think of, let me know.

More aggravation to deal with...

What a freakin day...

I had such a great weekend. I had a blast at both me & Goombah’s parties, and even the small party we had for Ariana’s godmother was nice. I was finally really able to get my mind off all the craziness of the past 2 weeks, but bam, as soon as Monday hits I’m thrown right back into the thick of things.

I’ve been going back and forth with the hospitals and their stupid bureaucratic BS b/c apparently the people at Montefiore don't know their heads from their asses.

My dad is still in Hartford Hospital and they are ready to move him, but the people at Montefiore are being stupid. The case coordinator (her name is Karen) at Hartford keeps calling Montefiore to speak with a doctor to get everything lined up, but she keep getting the runaround. She leaves messages but they never call back. And she keeps getting referred to different doctors, so it’s really hard to get things narrowed down b/c each one is telling her different stuff.

At first the people at Montefiore said everything was fine and they were just waiting for a bed to open in the ICU. That's why I hadn't stressed anything and have just been waiting. But now they're all like "Well we don't know if he should be moved in his condition" and it's like "Umm, retards, Hartford wouldn't allow him to be transferred if they thought he couldn't make the trip"

Then another thing was the attending that was recommended/contacted by my dad's primary care doc, turns out doesn't have the authority to accept an ICU patient so then they are/were having problems finding an attending to accept my dad's care.

And now I just got a call from Hartford a little after 4pm saying from Karen telling me that she was told that Montefiore isn't going to accept him. So I called the lady at Montefiore to find out what the heck is going on and she's like "I didn't hear that, who told you this?" So she asked me to get the name of the doctor who said this from Karen. I tried calling Hartford back, but it went to her voicemail.

So tomorrow I'm gonna have to get on the phone all day calling both hospitals (especially Montefiore) and either convince or plead with them to take my dad, or try to get him into another NY hospital (which I’m fine with, I wanted him in Albert Einstein anyways) but that entails working on my dad’s PCP, who seems to be a bit of a pain in the ass... so we’ll see.

And then adding to all the pressure is the fact that Hartford Hospital isn't a long-term ICU facility. The social worker from Hartford called me yesterday to speak with me about my dad’s options. Basically, my dad is stable, so I'm gonna be forced to make a decision about him soon. We either have to put a trache tube and a PEG (feeding tube) in him and move him to a home, or decide to take him off the respirator and let nature take it's course.

So we're also on a bit of a time table. And while we haven’t been given any kind of hard deadline or anything, things do need to happen “soon.” Luckily the hospital hasn’t been on our backs to make any decisions b/c they know we are working on having him transferred so they are being cool and letting things get handled.

However, the attendings at Hartford have changed this week and the new people are kind of like "What's going on? Why isn't anything being done with this guy?"

So it’s just a lot to deal with. And I’ve got two huge term papers I need to work on, not to mention trying to find a DJ and photographer for the wedding by the end of the month, amongst other things. It’s really stressful, and right now I can barely concentrate on anything...

... but I do have schoolwork, so I’m gonna TRY to be productive. In the meantime, please keep my dad and this situation in your prayers. Thanks...

A message to all my family, loved ones, friends and acquaintances

I've had a lot of time to think this week. Mostly about my dad and what happened to him (and by consequence, to my family), but about a few other things as well.

My dad's situation made me think of how sudden bad things can happen to a person. It made me think of what almost happened to Jordan nearly two months ago. He was nearly killed for no good reason whatsoever. But due to some quick thinking on his part (and in my belief- an angel watching over him), he is okay.

Then shortly after that incident, my friend Joey D was hit by a car while crossing the street to his job. By all accounts he should be dead, but he survived without even suffering a broken bone. That one I completely chalk up to God watching over him.

And of course, I think about my dad. He wasn't so lucky. But I'm not mad at God for that. My dad had high blood pressure and diabetes and he didn't take care of himself. He had a heart attack before, so he had gotten the scare that would set most people straight, but he still didn't eat right. It made me think of this old Christian joke:

-A man is in his home, when he hears a great flood is headed for his town. The people in his town evacuate, but he refuses to leave. He proclaims "I have faith that my God will protect me and save me."

The flood comes and the water level forces the man to move up to the second floor of his home. Some people come by in a rowboat offering to rescue him, but the man refuses the offer and proclaims "There is no need to run. I have faith that my God will protect and save me."

The flood levels continue to rise, so a second rowboat comes by. This time the people on board plead with him even more, but the man once again states "There is no need for me to leave. I have faith that my God will protect and save me."

The water continues to rise to the point where the man is forced to stay on the roof of his home. Finally a helicopter comes by to rescue the man but he once again refuses and states "There is no need for me to leave. I believe that my God will protect and save me."

The water level continues to rise, and the man winds up drowning. Once the man is in heaven, he goes up to God and asks him "Why did you let me die? I had faith that you would protect and save me! Why didn't you do anything to help me?"

God replied "I sent you two rowboats and a helicopter. What more did you want from me?"

****
My dad had plenty of chances to help himself, and he had all his family and friends warning him to eat right and take care of himself better. But he didn't listen, so I can't blame God for what happened to him.

But the situation still sucks. Especially b/c my dad was too, I dunno, macho I guess? to sign any papers, like a living will. Or at least something giving us power of attorney or a healthcare proxy.

It just leads me to think about both what we want not only for ourselves, but what are we leaving behind for our families to deal with if we were to suddenly go?

If something were to happen to you tomorrow, are your affairs in order? Are your family's? It's something that may be uncomfortable to speak about with your loved ones, but trust me, it's something you all definitely should b/c I wouldn't want any of you to go through anything like I've had to go through with my dad.

And you're never too young to start thinking about this kind of stuff for yourself either. You can never assume that everyone in your family will agree with the "best option." Some of you are in long-term relationships, and if something were to happen to you, right now your family would handle your affairs. But what if your significant other knew your wishes better than your own family? A battle could erupt between everyone who cares for you, and I'm pretty sure that isn't the kind of legacy you would want to leave behind.

And let me not even get into the whole issue when it comes to property... Greed can be a horrible thing, and it can turn even the nicest of people into nasty creatures.

But let me not get too morbid. Or even too caught up in what you would leave behind. But think about your family, loved ones, friends, and even acquaintances. Have you told all the people you care about that you love them?

I feel that you should. You also shouldn't stay mad at someone you love, b/c you wouldn't want that horrible guilty feeling if they left this earth before you could tell them how much they mean to you.

That almost happened with my sister and my dad. They had been estranged for the last few years, and it was for a really stupid reason. But both of them were too stubborn to apologize to the other. Luckily, I was able to play the middle man between them, and help them both realize there was not one good reason to not be speaking to one another anymore. And I'm sure they were regretting having spent all that time away from each other. So at Thanksgiving, I forced my sister to call my dad, and they finally made up. And I knew they were both very happy about that.

So when my sister went to see my dad last week, it hit her hard. And she said to him (and I was in the room as well), that she was so grateful that I made her call him so they could make up, b/c if I hadn't she wouldn't have had the opportunity to tell him before this incident (after he was in a coma) how much she loved him, and that she so happy they had been on speaking terms again before this tragedy happened.

I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone that I care about. That's why I'm such an easy-going guy. I'm not gonna hold grudges and speak ill of people. It makes no sense. Life is too short for that garbage. And I would encourage you all to take a similar approach to life.

I'm not telling anyone to be like me. Nope, I follow the teachings of God and Jesus. And while none of us could ever hope to be as good as he, we can do our best. And I'm not gonna brow-beat anyone right now with his teachings and say you should all become Christians. I mean, in my prayers I hope that you all do form a real relationship with God, and live a good and justly life; but I also know I'm far from perfect. And at this point in my life I don't know if I can truly say I'm a great example of what a Christian should be. I'm working on it though, and I hope to make God proud with the things that I both say and do.

But as I said, right now I just wanted to give my advice to everyone. Have the conversations you need to with your families. I know it'll probably be awkward and hard emotionally, but better it be done now than after someone is gone. And I mean this both for relationships between people as well as healthcare and property issues.

Once again, I want to let you all know that I care for and love you all. I have the greatest group of friends in the world. You have all come through for me and been here for me & my family in our time of need, and these thoughts I've shared are just one of the things I could think of to try to pay you all back (and yes, I'm aware I don't need to "pay anybody back" but I felt this stuff was important to share regardless).

Feel free to reply to me with any feelings you have about what I've said. And if anyone wants to talk about any spiritual matters, that's great as well. As I said, one of my prayers is that you all find what you are looking for, and I know for a fact that some of you are in the process of searching for something. You may not know what that something is, but I am here as an open ear, and I won't judge, nor will I force any of my beliefs down your throat. I'll share my beliefs, but in the end it's a decision you all have to make for yourselves.

And well, I guess I got a little more preachy there than I intended but all this stuff was on my heart for a reason. Maybe one of you out there really needed to hear/read something that was said in this message. And if so, I hope it helped.

God Bless everyone!

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

Or Easter as most people call it. My church (and many other churchs in recent years) prefer the term Resurrection Sunday, as opposed to Easter b/c Easter is basically the pagan term (that's where you start getting into bunnies, colored eggs and all that other stuff). "Resurrection Sunday" gets more to the point of what the day is actually about. But whichever term you use, I hope it was a good one for you!

Mine was decent. It was pretty much the first full normal day that I've had this week. I mean, my dad was obviously still in my thoughts, but things were as close to normal today as possible (church, going to grandma's for dinner, watching a DVD with my family, going to Ariana's, etc). Last night was good for me also. We went to Laguna Restaurant in White Plains for Marisa's b-day dinner, and then after that a bunch of us went to Burke's (a bar in Yonkers) to have a few drinks and watch an acquaintance of our's band perform. So at least my sister and I have been able to take time out of the crazyiness to try to lead normal lives.

Tomorrow (well later today I should say), is gonna be crazy though. I've got a TON of things to do- mostly dealing with stuff for my dad. And if I have any free time, I have to finally get started on all the school work that I was supposed to do last week... so wish me luck with that!

There is some more I'd like to share, but it's getting late and I have an early morning, so just check back tomorrow where I'll hopefully have another update ready to go.

Unbridled Fury

This already has been without a doubt the two worst days I've had in my entire life, and last night (Tuesday night) was just the icing on the freakin cake.

I had calmed down since last night, but just thinking about what happened has my blood boiling all over again. So bare with me as I type this (at least it's better than me trying to explain it verbally).

So as I'm sure you've all read already, my dad is in a deep coma with severe brain damage and things aren't looking good at all. The suddenness of it all, along with just seeing my dad lying there with all those tubes and needles sticking out of him and being so swollen was hard enough as it was. But then seeing him again after learning what his most likely fate would be, well heart-breaking/wrenching are the only words I can use to describe the feelings I was having (am still having).

So on TOP of all that, you wouldn't believe what happened last night...

The dancer that was with my dad (Katiria), had my dad's belongings (he gave them to her when he entered the hospital). I let her hold onto the cell phone b/c she was fielding the calls from his friend, co-workers, etc. But she had forgotten his wallet and keys on Monday. I said that was fine, but asked her to bring it the next day, which was yesterday (Tuesday).

Tuesday comes along, and she visits in the middle of the day but once again she forgot the keys. She said she would be coming back in the afternoon or night, so we were like "ok, just don't forget b/c we're leaving tonight" (b/c we were gonna start the process to try to transfer my dad out of Hartford and back to NY so he can be closer to us all).

We spoke a few times on the cell (she was using my dad's cell b/c she doesn't have her own) throughout the day, and the last time I spoke to her was at 7pm, while my family was having dinner, just to remind her once again, and she said she would be at the hospital soon.

So two hours pass, and at 9pm, we're all like "where is this chick? We don't wanna leave mad late and be driving at 3 o'clock in the morning!" So we tried calling my dad's cell again and it rang and rang but then went to voicemail.

I tried again about 20 minutes later, this time it only rang twice then went to voicemail. And every time I tried afterwards it would only ring once and then go to the voicemail. At that point I was thinking "maybe the battery died, b/c she might have been fielding a lot of calls."

So I try the house number that she gave us. Two women answered (which I think were her mom and aunt). I asked where Katiria was and they said she was out and they had no idea where she was. So I told them, to have her contact me as soon as they heard from her, b/c we needed my dad's stuff tonight since we were leaving.

Tried the cell a few more times- 1 ring- voicemail. Over and over.

I then tried the house number again (it's about an hour after the first try), and this time some dude answers. I ask where Katiria is and he says he has no idea, and that he really has nothing to do with her. I ask if there is anyway to contact her and he said she doesn't have her own cell, so no idea. So I asked the guy about his mom or aunt all like "well what about her mom or aunt, I met them last night, do they live there? Like can I speak with them?"

And the dude proceeds to say "You're asking a lot of questions. I can't answer you, I don't know you, and you're asking a lot of questions." At this point I'm getting suspicious, b/c a person doesn't say something like that if they don't have anything to hide...

So I call my dad's friend who had been coming to visit everyday (he lives right in Hartford) and he knew Katiria and her family to get information about this family. At the same time I hopped on the computer, went to the white pages and did a reverse-phone number search to find out where they lived. The address was less than 2 miles away, and my dad's friend knew where the place was so he offered to come with us.

While I'm on the phone with my dad's friend I put my dad's cell phone number into Ariana's phone and told her to call. I then stepped out of the room to continue my conversation, but I heard from outside that Ariana was speaking with someone.

The person who answered my dad's cell was either Katiria's mom or aunt, and they proceed to tell Ariana that she's sleeping. So right there, we now know that they were screening my calls AND lying to us.

At this point, Ariana is trying to be mediator. She's asking the lady to wake Katiria up, b/c we needed my dad's stuff since we were leaving that night and had no hotel to stay at. The lady is like "she took sleeping pills earlier, I'm not waking her up." So Ariana is like "Katiria said she was coming back tonight, we're waiting and she NEEDS to come, please wake her up." The lady once again refuses and says "she's had a very rough week, I'm not waking her up." So Ariana gets pissed all like "ROUGH WEEK?!?! Who's had a rougher week right now than his son and daughter!?!? I'm BEGGING YOU, BEGGING YOU to wake her up!!" My sister is overhearing this and starts screaming in the background, "get that bitch up!!" Ariana says to the lady "look, I'm gonna put his daughter on the phone..." and the lady has the nerve to say:

"you can put whoever you want on the phone, I'm not changing my mind."

At this point, everyone in the room was going NUTS (at this point I haven't heard all of this b/c I was still outside the room on the phone with my dad's friend but I heard all the yelling).

So in the end, we decided I was gonna pick up my dad's friend (I'm leaving his name out on purpose), and then call the cops and go over there to get my dad's stuff.

But as we were leaving, my blood was just BOILING. So was everyone else's, especially my sister who was so angry she was twitching. And poor Ariana was all shaken up as well.

As for me... most of you have never seen me angry. You may have seen me upset (and even that is rare), but never angry. And that's b/c I have a VERY high tolerance level. I can tolerate way more than the average person. However, I'm the kind of person who will give you all the chances in the world up to a certain point, but if you get me to my breaking point, than that's it. No more chances- I lose it, and good luck getting me back under control.

And that was the point I was at last night. I was ready to grab the club from my car, go to this chick's house, start bashing in windows and demanding my dad's stuff. Because how DARE they put us through this at this time in our lives!?!! We've just gone through two days of pure hell, and then this gets added on top of it??? Unacceptable. I don't remember the last time I'd been that angry.

So anyways, we pick up my dad's friend and go to the place (well we park a block away so we wouldn't be seen) and call the police (well actually we called the police on the way).

We did notice as we passed by that the people (well the family, not Katiria) were either getting into or out of the car. So we were freaking out that they were gonna make a run for it or something (since they don't technically live there- their house burned down awhile ago, so they're staying with the grandmother).

Thing is the cops up there were pains in the ass. We called the cops and they said they would dispatch someone. But when we saw they looked like they were trying to leave, we called the cops back making it more urgent, and they said no one had been dispatched yet. Then like 15-20 mins later we called again, and STILL no one was dispatched, so we're all freaking out, and we're trying to make them see the severity of the situation, but we got this bitch of a woman who had the gall to say stuff all like "you're not gonna get anywhere with that tone of voice" and "don't yell at me, this isn't a priority. We don't even know if we can help you." And I'm trying not to flip out on her, but OMG, my blood was already boiling, and if the woman was in front of me, she very well may have gotten bitchslapped (if not by me then by my sister for sure).

But they were telling us stuff like "we may not be able to do anything, b/c we don't have any proof the belongings are yours. You'd need a warrant, etc" I was flipping out, trying to explain the situation with my dad, but the legalities were driving us insane. But we waited for the cops to arrive anyway.

Once the cops did arrive, we spoke to them, and they pretty much told us the same thing the cops on the phone had. But we appealed to them to ask them anyways. And we told them to speak directly to Katiria b/c according to my dad's friend, her family was no good, and that "he wasn't surprised with these people."

So we waited in the car while the cops went to the house. Thankfully they did speak to Katiria and she gave them the keys, cell phone, wallet and his bag of clothes. So while it was a hell of a thing to go through, at least it was over.


(EDIT: the following parts were added later today- as I had started this post this morning and some of this crazyiness hadn't happened yet).


Or so we thought...

You'd think that was as bad as it could get right? So did we. We went back to NY (didn't arrive til nearly 5am), slept and today our plan was to go to my dad's apartment, and try to both find his papers for the insurance and coop as well as the numbers for his family to inform them of dad's situation. We got a later start to the day than we would have liked, but we were very tired, so we didn't get to his place til around 2pm.

So we arrive at my dad's coop building, and there is no key for the main door. And when we get up to the apartment, none of the keys worked for his door either. Actually, after we got a look at the keys, there was only one regular sized key, and we noticed the keyring chain that said "Bless This House" was noticably missing a set of keys.

So the freakin chick (and/or her family) kept the keys!!!!

We once again became infuriated. We just couldn't believe we were going through this. We tried to go to the administration building for the coop to explain the situation and get the keys but they said they couldn't give us the keys without power of attorney, but thing is any papers that have that (well if there are any at all), would be INSIDE the apartment.

So we're basically stuck in a vicious circle. I've been speaking with people including the social worker at the hospital and they're suggesting we just go to probate court, but I don't know how long that whole process will take, and if it needs a lawyer or not. And if it does, that's not free. Plus now we gotta worry that this chick and her family could come to my dad's apartment and basically ransack it. Which would infuriate us to no end, b/c those bastards don't deserve a damn thing.

But in the end, we just want my dad here in NY, get his papers and inform his family, so we can put this all behind us.

I'm physically and emotionally drained. I don't want to deal with this garbage and it's not right that we have to go through this due to a bunch of idiots. We just want to take time to absorb all this, grieve for my father, make our peace with things, and just pray. And we can't even do that in peace b/c these pieces of human garbage are screwing things up.

I can't even put into words how I'm feeling right now... this situation just keeps getting more intense and crazy, and we just need your prayers now more than ever.

I just ask that you pray that God puts a strong sense of guilt and fear into the hearts of the people that are messing with us. I pray that their consciences eat away at them, and that they realize they will get nothing out of it in the long run and make things right. I also ask that you all pray that things go well for us in getting the papers we need. Let people with good hearts be put in our path the next few days who will do all they can to help us get what we need and let it come to us quickly, so we don't have to deal with this anymore and get back to the truly important thing and that's helping my dad.

So that's where things are at now... hopefully I'll have better news in my next post.

Specifics for prayer...

I just wanted to follow up briefly on my post from last night. I'm not gonna make this long, b/c I can't take talking about this very much at the moment.

Things for my dad aren't good... and basically I just wanted to say thank you for all your prayers, but I wanted to make a request for a specific prayer. Please pray that either one of two things happen to my dad. That he either a) wakes up AND has a good quality of life or b) that he just takes our love with him and passes on.

Because I know he wouldn't want to live the life the doctors were talking about... that's not living, that's just surviving/existing. So my prayer is that he follows God's plan for him, either way that it may be. If God is calling him home, we all want him to go. But if God is telling him that he is not yet done with him, then he needs to wake up AND be in full health. So don't just pray that he wakes up. Pray he either gets better, or just lets go... that's all I can really ask...

... and that's all I can really say right now... my heart is broken and I can't speak about this much longer at the moment. Just keep me and my family in your prayers as well. I love you all...

We need your prayers now more than ever...

I haven't posted anything on this blog yet, but I've mentioned in my myspace blog that my dad had to go in for quadruple open heart bypass surgery this past Thursday. He JUST told me about it the night before (Wed night), saying that he didn't want to worry me and have me take time out to visit him b/c he knows I'm busy with work/school/etc.

I wasn't TOO worried about it at first. Obviously there was some concern, but I've heard of people 20+ years older than him having the surgery and coming out fine. So I spoke to him the the night before as well as the morning of the surgery and he sounded in great spirits, so I didn't stress too much.

Well on Saturday I got a call from the person who took him to the hospital (her name is Katiria. She's a dancer that my dad sponsors for a bunch of cultural events. He was taking her home from an event they had went to b/c he also does photography at the events). But anyways, she told me that my dad still hadn't woken up, so they were getting worried. They said it wasn't common, and that people should wake up after that amount of time, so they did a CT scan on him and found out that he had a small stroke in his frontal lobe. The stroke was on his right side, so it affected the left side of his body, and he had/has some paralysis (don't know if that's permanent or not yet).

So that had me worried, but this was already Sat afternoon and I was in NJ with Ariana, Jordan & Maryann. After speaking with the doctor, he said it wasn't worth it for me to come in, since he wouldn't be waking up, and they were gonna do an MRI on him on Sunday, so there would be no results until Monday. So we made the plan that I would come in on Monday morning.

Well today is Monday, and me and Katiria went to see my dad, and we tried to get him to wake up, but nothing.

Then we spoke to his doctor and she was very honest with us and told us that they are very concerned about him. B/c even if people don't wake up from surgeries right away, they generally will progress as the days go by, and have some kind of reactions, like if you pinch their arm, they should flinch. Well my dad has basically been the same since the first day, and actually it seems like he's gotten worse (no response at ALL).

So at 1pm today, we met with the neurologist and that's when they laid out all the bad news. They got the results of the MRI and it seems my dad has had multiple strokes. They aren't 100% sure why, but their main guess at the moment is that when they put the clamp on his aorta to perform the bypass surgery, some of the plaque and junk in his arteries got loose and went up to his brain, thus causing the strokes.

So the strokes affected both sides of his brain, causing pretty serious brain damage, and they proceeded to tell us that right now the "best case scenario" is that if he woke up he'd need a trach tube to breathe, a feeding tube to eat, he would need to be permanently in a nursing home, he may have speech problems, and last but not least he may have impaired critical thinking (meaning not only would he probably not be able to talk, but he may not even be able to comprehend things when spoken to). [And really, what kind of "best case" is that?]

They basically said at some point we were going to have to have a "quality of life" conversation. B/c my dad is in a coma right now, and technically they can keep him alive forever with the ventilation stuff, but the thing is... should they? And even if my dad does wake up, he'd be a shell of his former self, and I know that wouldn't be a life he'd want to live...

So there is a LOT we need to think about. It's scary, saddening, heart-breaking and I'm just like a zombie right now. I don't even know how I'm typing this... but I just came from his room and I needed to just vent somewhere. And luckily there is a computer here in the family lounge, so I figured I'd just type this all out so I don't have to say it over and over again, b/c it just hurts to think about it.

And that's basically where I'm at at the moment... I've cried my tears for the day (well at least for now, we'll see how I am once I get to the hotel room tonight). Just please keep both my dad as well as me and my family in your prayers because this is looking like a very difficult next few days or weeks.

Thank you so much. I love you all!